


Our Love

by WolfInTheShadows



Series: Shadows and Rivers [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 01:44:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/302360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfInTheShadows/pseuds/WolfInTheShadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>OC/River This is the story of a girl that helps the Doctor from behind the scenes without him knowing her. What happens when on one of these missions she meets River Song? Let's have a look, shall we? Warning: femslash. Don't like, don't read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Golden

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, I have to say I haven't finished this story. So the rating may go up. Secondly, yes, this will contain femslash. If this is nothing you'd like to read, there is still time to read another story. Flamers will be used for a barbecue. Thirdly, I really don't know how I got this idea, all I know it was probably very late and I was probably very tired. So please be kind with the idea. No one is forcing you to read the story.
> 
> Each chapter in this story is based on another song. The song provides the title of the chapter and will be given above each chapter alongside a short, representing excerpt. The Whole story is also represented by a song. It's 'Our Love' by Rhett Miller.  
> I try to be as canon compliant as possible. But I can gurantee that it will be 100% compliant.
> 
> SPOILERS: Doctor Who: Season 6, Episode 13 - The Wedding Of River Song / The Sarah Jane Adventures: Season 4, Episode 8 - The Empty Planet / Torchwood: Season 2, Episode 13 - Exit Wounds = I'll disregard that Tosh and Owen died, well, really died. / The Spoilers also represent the level of information I'll use in this story. Every scrap of information up until these episodes will be used.
> 
> DEDICATION: I'd like to dedicate this to 'TheTVJunkie' who has helped this story out of the closet. It was a bit scared of the wide world. Has anyone ever told you that you're absolutely brilliant? If not: You're absolutely brilliant. Thank you.
> 
> And lastly, seeing as English is not my mother tongue, I'd like to apologize in advance for any mistakes I might've overlooked. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

  
**Chapter 1 - Golden**   


_And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies  
And all the lovers with no time for me  
And all of the mothers raised their babies  
To stay away from me  
And pray they don't grow up to be me  
\- Golden - Fall Out Boy -_

What she was about to do could be considered suicidal, if it weren't for the exceptional skills she had. And still, it was a risk. A _huge_ risk. But she had a plan. A good plan. Granted, the plan wasn't that good considering it wasn't even finished yet. But she was already on her way to her destination. She'd just have wing it, like she usually did.

So, the first part of her 'plan' had worked out. She sat on board a spaceship which would bring her near the orbit. All that was necessary to convince the pilot to do that was a big enough amount of money. Admittedly, she didn't have the money, but hoped that her bluff would hold until they had arrived at their destination.

Now, all she had to do was waiting. Looking out of the window was out of question, because the ship didn't possess any windows and anyway what would she be looking at? Dark space? A couple of stars in the distance, all of which she had already seen a lot of times? So, she sat in her seat and allowed her thoughts to wander.

She was about to do something highly illegal. But that didn't really bother her. She had done illegal things before, or at least things that were bending the intergalactic laws.

She had the power to do so. She always had the dark side in her. But she had learned to tame it and now used it to do good things. But every once in a while she had to do something illegal, if she wanted to or not. Right now was one of the times she didn't want to do it but had to anyway.

She had been abducted by some alien race when she had been three years old. They had brought her to their planet, which was on the other side of the galaxy. So her parents couldn't get to her. Well, her mother and grandparents couldn't get to her.

She had been raised by these people who, even by her standards, were evil. They had taught her how to infiltrate any facility or society, how to move undetected and the ways of killing. They had tried to set her onto an enemy of theirs. But the only problem was she wasn't in the right universe to carry out her 'mission'.

So they had searched for a way to send her to the right universe. Meanwhile they had trained her to be a merciless, fearless assassin without regrets. They had sent her out into the universe and had let her eliminate some targets. Usually some scumbags who had caused the people to suffer. But sometimes she had had to neutralize a target which wasn't a scumbag, but a good person. The decision to do what was right and what was easy, was never easy.

Whilst she traveled the universe, she had come across many different races. And she usually had tried to get some information from a person, if she had found out that that person had been to Earth recently. That's how she had found out that her kidnappers had obviously taken her at a time when her mother couldn't be found anywhere. And her grandparents had been occupied otherwise and hadn't been able protect her entirely.

She had only been able to resist her kidnappers and seem as if she hadn't been resisting them at all, because she was different than them. Even different than her parents. Well, judging from the web of lies her captors had given her. They told her that she had been given to them by her parents. She knew better and over the years she had found out why.

At first she had thought she'd go insane, because she was hearing a voice in her head. A quiet, yet very powerful voice. This voice had told her who she really was and had showed her memories from her father and some from her mother at night in her dreams. This powerful voice had made her go on, because it seemed to know what was going to happen. And it had filled her with hope that she would find her parents again. But the voice never disclosed who or what it was.

In the end, her kidnappers had found a way to send her to the other universe. It had been through a tiny blip between the universes. They couldn't hold it open for very long. And after they would have sent her through, it would close off and they would never have any mean to contact her. It hadn't been the best choice for them, but they took it anyway. And that had been how she ended up in a universe where she hadn't known anyone, without money or a place to stay.

Luckily she had come out on Earth, not so lucky she had come out in a very tall, disused building in the middle of London. And very soon she had learned what that room, in which she had landed, had for significance.

She had not taken five steps into the room when she was attacked by a wave of visions. Two more steps and another wave made its way into her head. It was horrifying what she saw. Until then she had known about it, from her dreams at night, but now it had given her the pure emotions of the situations. The terror, the despair, the suffering.

She had just wanted to get out of there. To run, where hadn't mattered at the moment. But she hadn't got very far. She hadn't been far from the door when it had sprung open and a woman had burst into the room, closely followed by two teenagers. The appearance of the woman had let another wave of vision loose. This time there had been happy and sad ones. And the visions had provided her with a name.

Sarah Jane Smith.

She then had known that she could trust the woman. And then it had been as if someone had whacked her over the head, because she had fallen unconscious on the spot. When she had woken up again, she had lain on some sofa in what had seemed to be an attic with some sort of big computer on the other side of the room. Sarah Jane and the teenagers had stood in front of it and had been talking to it, no, with it. She had got up and had tried to walk over to them but had been prevented by walking more than two steps away from the sofa by some force field. That had alerted the others and they had turned towards her.

Sarah Jane had bombarded her with questions. It had been exactly like she had seen Sarah Jane in her visions. So she had answered the questions as best as she could and had hoped that she wouldn't be thrown to the lions. Figuratively speaking. But Sarah Jane had seemed satisfied with her answers.

And soon they had settled an agreement and from then on she had some kind of a home. She had started to help Sarah Jane and the teenagers, Rani and Clyde, as she had learned soon after. Luke, Sarah Jane's son, had been at university but they had met as soon as he had come home for the holidays. It had been shortly before Christmas and as they had informed her that was the time in which the possibility of an alien invasion was very much higher than on all the other times of the year.

Well, that had been times. She still had visions about certain things and the voice was still talking to her and she still didn't know who or what it was and she still lived at Sarah Jane's but had to be careful because she didn't want to mess up the time lines too much. Because the voice had informed her that she hadn't just traversed the boundaries of the universes but also traveled through time, because time was running differently in the two universes. And that was also the reason for her being on this stupid 'suicide mission'. All to prevent the time lines from being messed up.

She sighed as the pilot announced that they'd be arriving at their destination in approximately two minutes.

It was time to get ready. She geared up and checked every piece of her equipment twice. She never carried a gun but that wasn't important. She didn't need a gun, she was the weapon. She took a last deep breath before she had to teleport onto the surface.

They arrived at their destination just in time because the pilot then got the message that her payment wasn't transferred. He turned around and grabbed his gun.

"I think your journey ends here. Your cash hasn't been transferred."

She turned around calmly.

"Oops." And then she put on a mischievous grin. "You should always remember: Never trust a shadow."

And with that she teleported herself onto the surface of the planet beneath. There was work to be done.

After all, she was breaking into the Stormcage Containment Facility. And that was said to be impossible.

But she didn't care about impossible. As she always said: Impossible is just two letters away from possible.

It was night and she had to grin as she silently crept behind a rock because she just remembered after what she had chosen her name. She was like a shadow. And that was her name.

Shadow.


	2. It's Just You

**Chapter 2 - It's Just You**

_You can do the things  
That can't be done  
You can win the fights  
That can't be won  
When you're on a mission  
You see it through  
'Cause this savin' the world thing  
Is what you do  
\- It's Just You - LMNT -_

After Shadow made sure that her nearest vicinity was free of threats, she flicked her ponytail of long, brown hair back over her shoulder. She wore her 'mission gear', as she liked to call it, black boots, black cargo pants, a dark green wool jumper and a black flak jacket. With the thought that her brown eyes are glowing with excitement, she pulled her multifunctional scanner out of her cargo pants and scanned for her target. She had to get a Tribophysical Waveform Macro-Kinetic Extrapolator.

That exact Extrapolator was the Extrapolator that would eventually end up in the Doctor's TARDIS.

Well, Shadow had inquired about the Extrapolator and the Doctor, when she had met Captain Jack Harkness, after he had told her stories about his adventures with the Doctor.

Afterwards she had tried to locate the whereabouts of the Extrapolator before it fell into the hands of Margaret "Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen" Blaine. But all she could find out was that it was stored in some high security prison in another galaxy. How the Extrapolator fell into the hands of Margaret the Slitheen, she couldn't find out. Not even with the help of Mister Smith.

Then, one day, there was a letter for her in the mail. When she opened it, she got the shock of her life. She was supposed to go and get the Extrapolator and then give it to Margaret the Slitheen. It was signed by herself. But how exactly she should achieve to actually get to the Stormcage Containment Facility, the high security prison where the Extrapolator was stored, wasn't said. But it was a start and she decided to do it.

And the trusty voice in her head told her that, if she didn't do it, it would have severe consequences for her own life. Meaning, she'd never been born. And that the preservation of the time lines was imperative.

When she had told Sarah Jane about it, she had seriously thought Shadow to be totally insane. Well, more than the usual amount of insane.

Then she went to Captain Jack to borrow his Vortex Manipulator, because she still had to get to the year 5125. And she couldn't just wait for the date to come. When Jack asked her where she was headed, she told him her plan and he in return told her everything he knew about Stormcage. It turned out that one couldn't just teleport into it via Vortex Manipulator, but if one gets near enough to the orbit of the planet, one could teleport onto its surface. But the buildings were all protected with nifty security systems and the guards were very swift with intruders. So she had to be careful.

Anyway, luckily the Extrapolator was in the building in front of Shadow, but she had to get through the entire building to reach the other side. So, first step, deactivating the security systems in the building as unnoticeable as possible. A few taps on her scanner and that was done. Easy as pie. Although pie wasn't that easy to make.

Next step, creating a diversion. It had to be a good one. Something like a spaceship with collision course onto the other side of the planet. Or even better, several spaceships on collision course. Yes, that would cause a lot of confusion and a bit of panic.

Shadow was very good at creating confusion. So, she started to merrily tap away, hacking into the scanning system of the planet. Stormcage was a prison planet after all. A little bit tweaking here and a bit of tweaking there and it was done. Now she had to wait a bit and...voilà. Lights turned on and she could see shuttles rush overhead.

She then sneaked forward towards an entrance. The door was locked. So she plugged her scanner, she loved that scanner, onto the keypad at the side of the door and in no time it had hacked the code and the door unlocked.

She slipped in and silently closed the door behind her. She scanned the area to find out which way she had to go. First left, then right, right again, second left, a long corridor till the end, then left again and the third door on the right. Shadow memorized the route and pocketed the scanner. Hopefully she wouldn't run into any of the guards. Then she set off in a light run. The faster she got this done the better.

After she had run for quite a while, she stopped and wondered if she had taken a wrong turn. She had passed the long corridor and turned left, but there weren't any doors. She checked her scanner again.

Did the rooms move? No, rooms couldn't move. That was impossible, except in the TARDIS.

Her scanner showed that she had to turn right at the next possibility and then left and the door should be the third on the left. Shadow pocketed her scanner again, shrugged and set off again. Until then she had not encountered any guards, for which she was grateful.

After a couple of minutes more, she wondered if she shouldn't see any doors by now. She looked around, centered herself and retraced her route, but didn't see any wrong turns she could've taken.

Suddenly she heard voices behind her and tried to find a place to hide. She ran into the next corridor, which looked like the corridor she could swear she had already passed twice.

She found a place to hide, although the corridor was a long, straight and broad one. It had the cells on one side and a blank wall on the other side. Between each cell, which were unusually big for normal cells, was a supporting beam. The prisoners were, gladly, sleeping. And Shadow did move exceptionally quiet.

Soon the voices came nearer and Shadow held her breath to not get caught. The guards, it were three, walked past and Shadow thought she had made it, when one of them turned around and spotted her among the shadows.

She reacted very fast and even before the first of them had drawn his gun, she had knocked him out. The other two followed suit. After that little encounter, she dragged each of them into a corner behind a beam and stood them upright against them and fixed them with very strong duct tape.

She took their key cards and transferred their data onto her scanner. Then she put the cards back into their place, she didn't want to get noticed or the guards into trouble for losing their key cards. And Shadow only needed the data anyway.

When she was finished she looked around and decided that she had cleaned up enough. Then she consulted her scanner again to get the way. She had to follow the corridor till the end, then turn right and it should be the second door on the left.

These rooms really seemed to move. But there was no use in standing around and complaining. If she ever wanted to get there, she had to get her rear in gear.

She was a bit out of breath from all the running and the fight, so she walked silently along the corridor. All of a sudden, she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. Shadow took a closer look.

There really was a woman with blond, curly hair, leaning casually against the bars of her cell.

Shadow decided that that woman had something strange about her. She went over to the woman and stood in front of her cell, of course an arm's length away, there were always some crazy weirdo's that seemed harmless but still wanted to rip your head off.

Shadow assumed a casual pose herself and closely mustered the woman. There was definitely something...weird. Even the situation was weird.

Shadow was in the year 5125, breaking into the Stormcage Containment Facility and now standing in front of a cell as if she had come to make a social call. In the name of sanity, she was here to steal an Extrapolator, not to have a nice chat and some biscuits.

But Shadow couldn't help it that woman intrigued her.


	3. Hey Good Looking

**Chapter 3 - Hey Good Looking**

_Hey, good lookin', whatcha got cookin'  
How's about cookin' something up with me  
Hey, sweet baby, don't you think maybe  
We could find us a brand new recipe  
\- Hey Good Looking - Hank Williams Sr. -_

After Shadow had overcome the weirdness of the situation, she was ready to talk to this strange woman.

"Hey." Shadow tried to be as noncommittal as possible. It seemed to work.

"Hey, good-looking. Whatcha got cooking? How's about cooking something up with me?" Or not.

Shadow raised her left eyebrow at the woman. "You know that that was the worst pick up line I've ever heard."

"Where should I get experience in that department? I'm imprisoned." That woman really had the courage to talk back like that and put on an expression that seemed to say 'Duh!'.

"Whatever. Anyway, what do you want?" Shadow was curious what this woman could want.

"Hmm...I don't know. What do **you** want?"

"What?" Her voice didn't need to go up several octaves. "What I want? You're the one that was chatting me up."

"No, that was you. But you must want something here. You came through this corridor at least two times in the last ten minutes. So, what do you want?" That woman was smart, really smart. And Shadow had really passed that corridor twice. So the rooms really did move. "And yes, the corridors do move around. It's a security system."

"Oh." Were Shadows thoughts that obvious? "Well, you seem to know this place a bit."

"A bit? I've been here for nearly my whole live. I think I know this place quite well. And I know how to get past the moving corridors." Did that woman just wink? Shadow grew a bit worried.

"Alright." Anxiety was always good. "So, I want a Tribophysical Waveform Macro-Kinetic Extrapolator. You know where I can find one? Preferably around here somewhere."

"You want my Extrapolator?" The woman seemed shocked, albeit she quickly covered it.

"For what would you need an Extrapolator?"

"Traveling." And the cheekiness was back.

"Fine. You don't have to explain it."

"And I won't."

"You don't have to explain it, because I know what an Extrapolator does."

"You do? Really?" Shadow only nodded. She still had it. To keep people on their toes was not as easy as it sometimes seemed.

"Good that we've talked about it. Where is it?"

"I'd presume it's stored with the other possessions of the prisoners. So, it's in storage, of course."

"Of course. And I presume you won't just tell me how I get there." To the cheeky grin the woman was giving her, Shadow answered with an exasperated sigh. "Well, what do you want?"

"I want to be out of here. I'm bored out of my mind. Nothing ever happens here."

"Hmm...if I get you out of here, what would I get?"

"I'll show you where the Extrapolator is. And how to get past the moving corridors."

"And what says that you won't turn your back on me on the first chance?" It was always important to be thorough with business.

"I give you my word that I won't do it."

"Fine, but there's still one more thing. What are you imprisoned for?" Shadow wanted to be clear about what threats she would have to expect from that woman, if she broke her word.

"That's a long story. But to cut it short, I had worked for the wrong people and ended up killing some important person, who, as they had told me, was my enemy. Only it wasn't my enemy, but theirs." Shadow believed her. Mainly because she knew the feeling to be send somewhere and to be told to kill someone who wasn't her enemy.

So Shadow smiled and nodded. "So...you're a...what? Assassin? Mercenary?"

"I see myself more of a free lancer." Shadow raised her left eyebrow again. "Alright, alright. My parents were traveling with someone and I was abducted as a baby. My captors raised me in the belief that I became a warrior for their cause, but in the end something happened that led me to turn my back on them."

"Just wanted to make sure that you're not some bait and as soon as I swallow the story, you're going to kill me. Because I've got some powerful enemies out there." Shadow retrieved her scanner from the depths of her pocket and held it against the lock of the cell. "Now let's see what we can do about this." And in no time the lock clicked and the door was open.

"That piece of equipment you got there, where did you get that?"

"Nowhere, I built it myself."

"Wow." It seemed to Shadow that the woman was at least a bit amazed.

"Enough chit-chat. Lead the way. I want to be home before the Earth dies." Shadow gestured down the corridor.

"But what about the guards?" Did that cheeky, seems-to-be confident woman just worry about the guards? Interesting.

"What about them? These three here won't wake up for at least ten minutes and any other guards we might encounter...well, let me just say, I've got enough duct tape." Now, it was time for Shadow to put on a cheeky grin.

"Alright. Whatever you say." The woman shrugged her shoulders. "This way." And they walked together to the storage room.


	4. Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more action and a bit of military history, regarding that I better do this:
> 
> WARNING: Don't try anything you read in this chapter at home or anywhere else, for that matter. In fact, don't try it at all. I don't know, if this were to work or not. If not, then I claim author's liberty over this.

**Chapter 4 - Minutes**

_30 minutes, the blink of an eye  
30 minutes, to alter our lives  
30 minutes, to make up my mind  
30 minutes, to finally decide  
\- Minutes - t.A.T.u. -_

Upon arrival at the door to the storage room, the woman looked expectantly from the locking system of the door to Shadow and back.

Shadow only got her scanner out, inwardly rolling her eyes, and retrieved a cable from one of her pockets, plugged one end into the scanner and the other into the maintenance port of the locking system.

"You can't possibly break this door's security systems, it's..." The woman started.

"...a biometrical, code locked door with a retina scanner. I know." Shadow finished. "And I'm not going to break the security systems. I'm adjusting them. Ah. Damn." Shadow had said all this more to her scanner than the woman.

Then she looked up and at the woman. "When you were imprisoned here, did they take your biometrical data?"

The woman frowned. "Yes, they did. Why?"

"Because I can't get into the system to put my own data into it. But what I can do is move the data of a prisoner into the system. So, what's your name?"

"Yeah, brilliant, but even if you'd have that, there's still the code you have to enter. How do you plan to get that?"

"That I can change. Now, your name?" Shadow was getting a bit frustrated. What was wrong with this woman? Other people usually trusted her and did what she wanted them to do and did not question her to bits.

"Do I get yours, if I give you mine?" Shadow nodded sharply. "River Song."

"Hm...nice name." Shadow entered the name and proceeded in moving the required data into the security system, seemingly ignoring the deal she had made.

"You wanted to give me your name, remember?" River demanded.

"Yes, I remember perfectly. But this is a corridor in a containment facility. The walls have ears. Where your name is no new information for the people here, my name could get me into trouble. So, I'll tell you my name, but first we have to be somewhere, where not every idiot can overhear us. Clear?" With finishing her explanation, she also finished her adjustments to the security system of the locking system. "Now, if you'd be so kind to open this door?"

"What?" River seemed a bit stunned, if it was the logic with which Shadow had presented her or the efficiency with which she worked, Shadow couldn't see, but supposed it was both. "Oh...right. And the code?"

"Very easy. One, two, three, four. Open the door, about now would be nice. I haven't all day, you know." And she grabbed River around the middle and moved her in front of the door.

"Alright." River did as she was told, very much doubting that it would work. To her surprise, it worked and after she had entered the code, the door clicked open. With a look to both sides, Shadow shoved her through the door and swiftly but silently closed it behind them.

"Good girl." Shadow said in the darkness of the room to River.

"No need to treat me like a dog."

"Pfft...then I won't praise you for good work. Now, where is the light switch?"

"I never said you couldn't praise me. And the light is made easily. Let there be..." Shadow could detect the smug sound of Rivers voice. "Light!" And there was light.

"Satisfied now?" Shadow's voice dropped with sarcasm.

"Very."

"Don't be so smug." Shadow took a look around. It was a really big room. At least 15 feet high and shelves to the ceiling. Completely stacked with boxes. "Where could they have hidden that Extrapolator in this mess?"

"Under 'S' I presume." Shadow gave River a slightly puzzled look. "This is the...index, you could say, of the storage department."

"And the actual storage department is where?"

"Under our feet."

"Brilliant, bloody brilliant. Alright. Let's find 'Song comma River' in this ordered mess. Shall we." Shadow gave River a grin.

"Let's go." River returned the grin. And then they went to find the correspondent box.

Whilst they where searching in silence, Shadow wondered, what she'd do with the woman, River, she corrected herself, when this was over and she had to return home. It wasn't as if she had much choice. Either she'd let her stay here and risked being exposed, or she killed her or she took her with her. But nothing seemed really right. And when she looked over at River working her way through the shelves and looking for the right box, she completely ruled out the killing option.

What was wrong with her? She had met this woman barely half an hour ago and already liked her. No, she didn't like her. She was taking advantage of the information River could give her. Yes, that sounded much better. Shadow was never really one for social interaction. Mostly keeping to herself and if she had to be together with other people she tried to keep the interaction with them to a minimum. Otherwise she resorted to biting sarcasm. And that did usually not go well with other people. Suddenly she was ripped out of her silent contemplations, when River made a sudden exclamation.

"I got it. Over here." And Shadow followed the call.

River was standing on some boxes and tried to get a box from a higher shelf. All that looked really shaky to Shadow and it came as it had to. Shadow had just arrived next to River, when she lost her balance, ripping the box out of the shelf and losing her grip on it, thus it splayed its contents on the floor. Shadow tried to steady River or to, at least, keep her from serious injury, but all she succeeded with was that River could grab Shadow's shoulders and with the momentum of the fall, sending them both to the ground.

They looked at each other, then at the contents of the box on the floor, then at each other again, and as if on command both started to laugh madly like what just happened was the funniest thing in the whole universe.

"At least it's down now." Shadow said after some time, still a bit out of breath.

"Definitely down." River tried very hard to stop laughing, but didn't really succeed.

"Just tell me, are you usually that graceful, too?"

"Oh, yes. I can't even change a light bulb without falling off the chair." This got River a light smack on the stomach.

"Come on. Let's find your Extrapolator and get out of here." Shadow got up and started to sift through the stuff that had fallen out of the box. River also got up and took another pack to look through.

"Inventory. Song comma River. This seems to be it." Shadow scanned the page and whistled approvingly. "You bad, bad girl. Where you on your way to a war when they got you?"

"Something like that, yes." River came over to Shadow and took a look at the page herself, then she pointed at something and said "There. Tribophysical Waveform Macro-Kinetic Extrapolator. Section 3-56, row 74, shelf 17, letter 'S', number 46390. Do you want to write that down?"

"No, I've got a better idea." And Shadow ripped the part about the location out of the page and holding it up. "See."

"Always the practical approach." River rolled with her eyes.

"So, now that we got the exact location of it. Where is the entrance to the storage room?" Shadow really hoped that this one wasn't opening on voice command.

"In the back, come on." And River once again took the lead. Shadow following her.

They arrived in front of an inconspicuous door.

"Think it's locked?" Shadow asked River. "Anyway, you should try it first. With your data in the system and this could easily be another nifty security system."

River only nodded and then tried the door. The handle almost imperceptibly glowed for a moment and then the door opened. "Hmm..." Was River's only sound.

"Let's not waste another thought on it, we have better things to do." It didn't go unnoticed by Shadow, how she included River in her plan. But she banned the pondering about that to the back of her mind.

They descended the stairs before them and then stepped into a room that was even higher and more spacious than the one they had been in before.

"Alright, first we have to find section 3-56."

They looked around and very soon found a pattern in the numbering. And pretty soon they stood in front of shelf 17, found the letter 'S' and located the Extrapolator amongst the rubble that was cluttering the shelves.

"Uh, look." Shadow said, pure sarcasm tinting her voice. "A tag, and it even says 46390. Seems to be the Extrapolator we're looking for. Bureaucracy." A slight snort accompanied the last word.

"Na na, don't be like that. It makes the life of thieves easier." River looked at her with pure amusement evident in her eyes. Shadow grinned back at her with equal amusement.

But, they were rudely interrupted by the beeping of Shadow's scanner. She got it out quickly and looked at it. "Shit."

"What? What is it?" River's voice grew concerned.

Shadow looked at the staircase they had come from and concentrated. When she broke out of her concentration, she looked at River with a dead calm and serious expression. "Do you have tea?"

"What?" River's tone showed how utterly confused she was.

"Well, it seems our friends upstairs have woken up or were found. And they obviously have made a scan for humanoid life forms and found us here. In an area that's clearly restricted. And now they've locked us in. And to get out of here will take some time. Therefore, do you have tea?" Shadow looked as if she really would like to have a cup of tea and they weren't locked in with several guards on the other side of the door.

"You're insane, you know that?" Despite her comment, River had to grin. "And you can't just, I don't know, take your thingy and unlock the door?"

"Wish I could. But they deadlocked the door." Shadow walked a few steps away from River and then let herself slump against a shelf and slid down onto the floor. "They'll get bored with waiting for us to try to come out. It'll take a while probably, but they'll get there. Until then, well, you could join me down here. And we could wait together." She hopefully looked up into River's eyes.

"Alright. When there's nothing else to do." And River let herself fall down beside Shadow with a sigh. "How long do you reckon it'll take them to get bored?"

"I don't know. An hour. Two?"

"At least you got your hands on the Extrapolator. How did you originally plan to escape here after you got it?"

"I didn't." When River looked over at her confused once again, Shadow elaborated. "Well, my plan was to get here, get the Extrapolator and then get out. That was about all I had planned."

"Seriously. You remind me of someone."

"Yeah, I know. I got that a lot. Before they found out who I am."

"Oh. That reminds me, you still haven't told me who you are." River shot her an accusatory look.

"Call me Shadow." She simply replied.

"Very 'Moby Dick'." Shadow looked doubtfully. "I mean: Call me Ishmael. Call me Shadow. Who says you're really called that?"

"No one does. And it's the name I chose for myself, because I don't know my real name. And I mean: River Song? That's very fairytale-ish."

"The only water in the forest is the river."

"What?" Now Shadow was confused.

"They don't have another form of water in some forest on some planet. And basically it's a very long story. Maybe I'll tell you some other time."

"Aah." And they fell into silence. Both hanging after their own thoughts.

River tried to come up with a possibility for escaping earlier instead of waiting for the guards to get bored.

And Shadow's thoughts went into an entirely different direction. She thought about what she was going to do with River once this was over.

The voice in her head told her that if she'd take her with her, she would have to send her away again, and wouldn't be seeing her again for a long time then. But Shadow usually followed that voice and just this once wanted to make a decision on her own and to ignore what the voice was telling her.

Shadow found that she quite liked River. They could talk and it seemed that they had a lot in common. With them both being abducted. Of course, River didn't know that and Shadow was not going to tell her, if she could help it. But it seemed to Shadow that River would be a great partner in crime. Something like Sarah Jane had been to the Doctor. A companion.

But could she really risk breaking River out of here?

Shadow could already hear what they were going to say, if she were to bring River home. Jack would say well done and get this strange look. And Sarah Jane would probably say that she had been whacked over the head to bring a convicted criminal home. No, she was not going to endure that.

But Shadow really liked River. That understanding of sarcasm was genuine. Maybe she was a bit inexperienced in the ways of subtlety but with a bit of training.

Bloody hell, what was she thinking here? She had to stop. She couldn't take River with her. It would be way too risky. Period.

To not think about River she looked around to find something that would occupy her mind otherwise.

"Wait a second." River was startled by Shadow's sudden outburst. "Wait a second. That's it." Shadow suddenly jumped up and threw her arms out, indicating to the shelves.

"What?" River asked tentatively.

"Where are we?" Shadow was suddenly so full of excitement that River got a bit worried.

"In a storage room?"

Shadow just nodded her head to urge River on.

River didn't know what Shadow was trying to say right away, but after some moments she also got the hint. And she, too, was filled with excitement again. "In a storage room of a high security prison. Of course. Why didn't we see that earlier?"

"Maybe we are just thick. Yep, definitely. We have to be thick. Thick Thickety Thick from Thickatonia and so is your mother. Argh!" All of a sudden Shadow started to sprint down the corridor so that River had problems catching up.

"What are you up to?" River asked breathlessly when they stopped and Shadow pulled out various things from the shelves, half of them just throwing behind her.

"Don't know yet, but...yes, yes. That should do it. Now, have you seen any fire around here or just plain water?"

"Fire, I don't think so. But there is a tap near the stairs. Anyway, what do you want with water now?" River demanded, once again running after Shadow.

"Washing my hands. It's safer that way." Shadow put all the things she had gotten onto the floor and then washed her hands very thoroughly. Meanwhile River took a look at the things Shadow had acquired. There were several glass bottles, a car battery, weed killer, a pair of gloves, a bag of corks and a packet of sugar with which River wasn't too sure how old it was.

"What are you trying to do with this stuff?" River asked doubtfully, indicating to the things on the floor.

"Never say chemistry isn't useful."

"Never said something like that. But what are you trying to do? And can I help?"

"Yes, you can indeed help. First I need a rag." Shadow ripped a piece of clothing from the bottom hem of River's shirt.

"A rag? That was no rag." River protested.

"Now it is." Shadow answered, holding up the piece of cloth to demonstrate. "Anyway, go wash your hands, I'll prepare the rest." Shadow ordered.

Whilst River washed her hands, Shadow explained to her what she had to do now.

"Make little stripes from the cloth and then take the weed killer and the sugar and put it together on the cloth. I don't know how you'll manage that but I'm confident that you'll find a way. Meanwhile I'll put the sulfuric acid from the car battery and a bit of lighter fuel into the bottles. In the end we'll attach the cloth stripes to the bottles with the corks and...hopefully, it won't blow into our faces."

"Molotov Cocktails? You seriously want to build Molotov Cocktails? Why not use fuel and a rug?" River had returned from the sink and questioned Shadow.

"Because I don't have a lighter or matches and I couldn't find any here. Or do you conveniently have anything to light the rug?" Shadow snapped.

"No. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It was a valid question. I'm just a bit nervous. I don't know if this is going to work. Usually it's made with sulfuric acid, potassium chlorate, fuel and sugar, but we don't have most of those in the pure form, so we have to improvise."

"How do you know this is going to work at all?" River had started to tear the cloth into stripes and Shadow carefully opened the car battery.

"Well, the Armia Krajowa, the Polish Home Army developed this kind of Molotov Cocktail. It ignites on impact. If everything goes well with our brewing here, it will hopefully do the same. But we'd already gain a great advantage, if it were to only smoke."

"And the guards won't expect us to attack them." River instinctively knew she had to keep Shadow talking to ease her nervousness. And it calmed herself down to talk.

"Nope. They probably think we sit here in despair. Our first advantage is that they won't expect us to fight back and the second would be if this here works. Okay, I think these are enough." Shadow said, after she had filled four bottles with acid. From one of her many pockets she produced a can of lighter fuel, opened it and put some in each of the bottles to the acid. "How are the stripes coming along?"

"Well, very well. Is it alright, if they are dry?"

"Yes, that's really good actually. Bring them here and we can attach them to the bottles." River obeyed and brought the stripes over to where Shadow had lined up the bottles with the acid-fuel mixture.

"Okay, I think we can secure the cloth with the cork."

"Wait, you said, it ignites on impact. That would mean, if the two components come into contact with each other, they'll blow. I think we have to secure them on the outside of the bottle. Do you have some string?" River intervened in time to prevent them from being blown to pieces.

"I always have some string." From another of her seemingly endless amount of pockets Shadow produced a ball of cord and handed it to River.

"Now, cork the bottles and make sure they're tight." River ordered Shadow this time. In the meantime, River knotted a piece of string around each stripe of cloth.

Afterwards, River put a piece of string with attached cloth around the neck of each bottle. Standing back when she was finished, she looked over at Shadow, who proudly grinned at her. "Let's wash our hands." River brushed off the silent compliment on the outside, but valued it very much on the inside.

They washed their hands again and then gathered up the Extrapolator and the Molotov Cocktails and silently made their way up the stairs.

At the top, Shadow faced River again. "Do you know a quick route out of the building even with the corridors moving?"

"Yes. But if our masterpieces here really work and go up in flames or even just smoke, the security systems will deactivate the movement of the corridors to guarantee a safe escape. And the big arrows pointing to the nearest exit will flash green."

"Alright. So, let's hope this works. And then we'll follow the arrows. Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever get." River nodded and Shadow repeated the gesture.

She then continued to set the bottles on the floor and pulled out her scanner, giving a running comment. "Okay, I think they are waiting for us to try to open the door. It's deadlocked, yes, but they think we don't know that. So I'll just fake the attempt to open the door and do this instead."

She tapped the screen a couple times and there appeared several dots on the screen, then she tapped the screen a couple times more and the dots were put into a map.

"A scan for life forms. Each dot represents a life form. Hmm...less than I had expected. I'll just expand the search. Better safe than sorry." Shadow tapped a few times more, the map zoomed out but there weren't more dots to find. "That's odd. Or maybe they're stupider than I expected."

"What are you talking about? Are you complaining about the absence of guards? You should be glad there aren't more." River accused.

"I'll explain later and you're right. Now, let's get out of here." Shadow shot River a mischievous glance, pocketed the scanner and grabbed the bottles again. "Here goes. Keep a tight grasp on the Extrapolator. **Don't** lose it."

Shadow pushed the handle of the door, which, miraculously, opened for her. And as soon as the door was open, she threw the two bottles she held into the room. And just as she predicted, the guards were stunned into immobility by the surprise attack. The bottles gave a short blast of fire and then extinguished, but smoked a great deal. Shadow then took the other two from River and threw them into to other corners of the room, so that the room was filled with smoke.

Then she grabbed River's hand and shouted. "Run!"

And they ran. Just as River had said, the security was deactivated and the arrows were flashing, pointing to the nearest exit.

When the finally burst through the door and into the darkness, they were both out of breath.

"Alright. Hand me the Extrapolator." River obliged, realizing a moment to late, what Shadow was actually saying. She grabbed Shadow's arm.

"Oh no. You are **not** leaving me here." There it was, the thing Shadow had hoped would not happen.

"I have to." Shadow meekly tried to explain herself.

"They'll execute me." River deadpanned.

That shook Shadow to the core, because it hurt. It wasn't supposed to do that. She liked the woman, as a source for information. But Shadow couldn't even convince herself of that. She liked that woman, as a friend, as a partner in crime. And there was something else stirring inside her. Something that was never there before. Something Shadow didn't know, couldn't identify. Something big. She had to make a decision. Take River with her or leave her here and hope that she could escape death.

And just in that moment the door behind them burst open and guards with big guns came pouring out.

So Shadow decided.

Shaking back her sleeve, she grabbed River's hand and put it onto the Vortex Manipulator on her wrist. Pushing a few buttons and then, putting her own hand over River's, they teleported away.


	5. Please Forgive Me

**Chapter 5 - Please Forgive Me**

_Please forgive me  
If I act a little strange  
For I know not what I do  
Feels like lightning running through my veins  
Everytime I look at you  
\- Please Forgive Me - David Gray -_

River and Shadow landed right in front of the Millennium Center in Cardiff.

"Of course. Night. What else? At least no one's around." Was Shadow's dry comment after she had taken a look around.

And at that moment Shadow's scanner beeped. She took it out, looked at it and then took a couple steps away from the spot in which they had arrived. River looked quizzically at her. Then Shadow's scanner beeped again. But this time Shadow grabbed River's hand again and dragged her across the square in front of the water tower.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" River demanded, quite angrily.

"They followed us."

"Oh. And why aren't we running somewhere else, instead of running to a place in plain sight?"

"Because, firstly, we aren't in plain sight. We're standing on a perception filter. And secondly, the problem will solve itself."

"How?"

"Watch and learn." Shadow pointed to the place in which they had arrived. And surely there appeared three men with guns drawn. And just as suddenly as they had appeared, they were gone again.

"What? How did that happen? And what was it?" River was puzzled. She had never seen anything like that. Well, she had seen people arrive like that, but never disappear again like that.

"Well, we're in Cardiff. There's this Rift running through the city. It's completely invisible and harmless to the people. But it sometimes burps out things from other planets, galaxies, I don't know. And sometimes it sucks things in. That's exactly what has happened here. The Rift has sucked them in and transported to God knows where."

"And your scanner told you that we were followed and that the Rift would suck them in?"

"It told me that we were followed. But it only told me about Rift activity in the nearer vicinity. I didn't know if it was positive or negative Rift activity." At River's baffled expression she elaborated. "Positive, it spits things out. Negative, sucks things in."

"Interesting. Isn't there anyone who monitors this activity? I mean, this Rift could spit out very dangerous stuff."

"Oh, there is. And we're standing right on their back entrance." And surely River looked at the ground. Shadow suppressed a slight chuckle. People were so predictable. "But we're in the wrong time. I've got to hand over the Extrapolator, first. Then we can go to the right time to visit the people who monitor the Rift. That alright?"

"Um...it looks as if I don't have anything else to do." River joked. "Where to now?"

"The city council. I have to deliver an Extrapolator to the mayor." Shadow started to walk into the direction of the city council, dragging River with her. Suddenly Shadow stopped dead in her tracks and dropped River's hand like she had burned herself and took a step away from her. "I'm sorry." Shadow mumbled, obviously embarrassed. "Well...yes." And she continued to walk, River following her.

They reached the city council and headed straight to the office of Margaret Blaine. The lackey in front of her office was busy with something on his computer. Shadow reckoned it was probably a game of solitaire. They disregarded the lackey and went straight to the office door; Shadow knocked and then dragged River in after her.

"Evening." Shadow acknowledged the woman sitting behind the desk.

"Ah...well, hello. How can I help you?" River thought that Shadow knew this woman, but now it seemed that this was the first time these two met. She decided to keep quiet and watch how the scene would unfold.

"You can't help me, but maybe I can help you." Shadow stepped forwards in front of the desk. The woman seemed unsure of what to do. "Margaret Blaine. Or like you're really called, Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen. I've got a deal for you that could get you off this godforsaken rock. Want to know more?" Shadow had the full attention now.

"Go on. I'm listening." Margaret, Blon, River didn't really know what to call the woman, and settled for Margaret in the end in her head. So, Margaret seemed distrusting. Well, who wouldn't be when two persons would waltz into your office and propose something like that?

"I've got a Tribophysical Waveform Macro-Kinetic Extrapolator. You know what an Extrapolator does, I presume?" Margaret nodded. "And I'm willing to...let's say, let it fall into your hands." Shadow grinned again. "What do you say?"

"Where's the catch?"

"There's no catch. Except that, if anyone ever asks where you got it from, you only say that it fell into your hands."

"And you would just give it to me? I doubt it. Where is it anyway?"

"Right here." Shadow laid the Extrapolator on the desk. "And before you ask, yes, it is fully charged. Ready to run. All you need would be a massive explosion."

"I knew there's something." Margaret seemed satisfied to have caught Shadow lying. "Where would I get this massive explosion? Have you one in your pocket?"

"No. But I've got something else in my pocket." Shadow pulled out some blue prints. "These are for the construction of a nuclear power plant in the middle of Cardiff."

"That would help the people, but wouldn't get me off this rock." Margaret interrupted.

"Let me finish." Shadow snorted slightly. "The power plant is faulty. If you neutralize everyone that could stop the construction and subsequent commissioning of the reactor, you will get your massive explosion. In fact, it will be so massive that planet Earth will be literally blown to pieces. That massive enough?"

River contemplated for a moment, if she had been wrong in thinking Shadow to be one of the good guys. She was talking about blowing up planet Earth as if that was a daily occurrence for her. But then she decided that she wasn't wrong about Shadow, she could've killed those guards back at Stormcage, but she didn't. And Shadow had probably some plan that would not end in the destruction of Earth.

"And I just stand on the Extrapolator and surf out of the galaxy?"

"Yep." Shadow popped the 'P'.

"And all I have to give you in return, is the promise that I don't tell anyone, under any circumstances, who gave me the Extrapolator?"

"Exactly. Do we have a deal?" Shadow extended her hand across the table.

"We have a deal." Margaret took the offered hand and they shook them.

"Congratulations to your Tribophysical Waveform Macro-Kinetic Extrapolator and goodbye." Shadow turned around and River trailed after her. At the door they were stopped by Margaret.

"I give you my word, I won't tell anyone, but...who are you?"

"Shadow."

And River and she left the building. Outside they looked at each other.

"That went exceptionally well. Would've expected a bit more of a challenge. Well, I told you we'd visit the people who monitor the Rift. And I've got to return the Vortex Manipulator anyway. Fancy a glance?" Shadow's mischievous, challenging grin was back.

"Sure. Why not?"

Shadow pushed some buttons on her wrist device and then offered her arm to River. She laid her hand onto the Vortex Manipulator like Shadow had done earlier. Then Shadow laid her own hand onto it and they were gone again.

They arrived in front of the Millennium Center again.

"You know, we could've walked?" Was River's comment, after she had taken in the surroundings.

"Yeah, but only if we had walked very, very slowly." River frowned at Shadow. "We might be in the same city, but we are about 5 years later. Come on, we don't want to be late." And Shadow dragged River after her again.

When they stood on top of the perception filter again, Shadow pushed another button on the Vortex Manipulator on her wrist and River gripped Shadow's arm in surprise, because the earth beneath their feet was lowering itself into the ground.

When they were beneath the surface, River couldn't believe her eyes. There was a cavernous room beneath the square. It was unbelievable.

"Welcome to Torchwood." Shadow at her side only announced.

At that moment they heard a screech from above. River flinched and looked up. There was a pterodactyl. Shadow followed her line of sight. "That's Myfanwy." River disbelievingly looked at her.

"This is Earth, right?" River asked. Shadow nodded. "And which century is this?"

"The 21st. Why?" Shadow asked innocently.

"That's a bloody pterodactyl. A dinosaur, they're extinct."

"A, the Rift, remember? And B, that's not 'a bloody pterodactyl', that's Myfanwy." Shadow gave River a stern look.

"I can only agree. That's Myfanwy. Our pet dinosaur." Said a man at the bottom.

"Jack." On Shadow's face appeared a big smile.

"And I see you got yourself a girl. Impressive. Maybe I'm..."

"No, you're not." Interrupted Shadow.

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"Whatever it is, you're not doing it. And anyway, I have not gotten myself a girl. At least not in the sense as you mean it." They hopped down from the platform.

"Captain Jack Harkness." Introduced Jack himself to River with a big smile on his face.

"Captain." Warned Shadow.

"Don't worry, I know his trick. The pheromones don't work, Captain." Shadow and Jack looked questioningly at River. "I can smell them, don't know why, but I can. 51st century, right?"

"Yes." Jack looked at Shadow. "I only know two people in the entire universe, well, three actually, but, you know...anyway, I only know two people who can smell the pheromones and are immune against them. One is you, Shadow, and the other one, your dad, who is always up and around somewhere, somewhen."

"Now you know one more." Shadow countered.

"Anyhow, let's go into my office and catch up. And then we can give your new friend the grand tour." And they walked up to Jack's office. As soon as they had reached it and all taken their seats, Ianto came in and brought them something to drink and left as silently as he had come in.

Shadow took a sip from the mug in front of her. "Perfect. How does he do it?"

"We all wonder." Jack smiled fondly. "Now, how did your little excursion go?"

"Oh, you know me, bluffed to get a ride near the orbit, almost got shot before I teleported onto the surface, wandered around aimlessly, almost got killed again, met her." Shadow jerked her head into River's direction. "She then helped me to get to where I needed to go, got the Extrapolator, which was hers, by the way, then they locked us in the storage room, we improvised some Molotov Cocktails, smoked our way out with them and it ended as always."

"Running." Jack chuckled. "He won't be able to deny he's the father, when you're going to tell him."

"The curse of the family." Shadow took off the Vortex Manipulator and threw it over to Jack, who caught it and put it on his wrist. "Thanks again."

"No problem. And how went things with Margaret the Slitheen?"

"Surprisingly well. Although I almost had to spell it out for her. At least she knew what an Extrapolator does. And now the time lines are intact. All I have to still do is to write myself a letter. You wouldn't be so kind to deliver it, Jack?"

"If you leave me the time travel function, I would do almost anything."

"Good. I'll send the letter to you as soon as I'm back home."

"But to get to the important things at hand, I still don't know the name of your new friend." Jack said.

"Oh, right. Our new friend is called River Song."

"Guard?"

"Prisoner."

"What for?"

"Murder."

"Bad girl." Jack smiled flirtatiously at Shadow, which she completely ignored.

"Hello. I'm in the room, remember? And I'm not some piece of cattle about to be auctioned off." River spoke up. She couldn't believe that these two would talk about that, without asking her.

"Sorry, we can get a bit carried away. No, we haven't forgotten you. And you're definitely not a piece of cattle. But I'm forgetting, do you have any questions?" Shadow apologized and Jack had at least the decency to look a bit sorry.

"As a matter of fact, I do. We're five years later and Earth is not blown to pieces. If your goal was that the Earth doesn't get blown to pieces, then why did you give that Slitheen the Extrapolator and tell her how to blow Earth to pieces?" River asked.

"Firstly, Slitheen is not a race, but a family. Common mistake. Secondly, I had to do it because of the time lines."

"The timelines?" River didn't quite understand what exactly that was supposed to mean. "But what does that have to do with a nuclear power plant? Or am I missing something here?"

"Alright, I'll try to explain it as simple as I can." Shadow thought for moment and then drew a breath. "I'm not from this time. The same goes for Jack here." Shadow frowned briefly. "No wait. I am from this time, but I'm not. I'm not even from Earth, but I am. It's very complicated. Anyway, I had to hand over the Extrapolator, because, in my time line, Margaret had already been stopped. So the actual event might have been in flux in her time line, but it was a fixed point in mine. Therefore I had to preserve the time lines."

"Do you know what would've happened, if you hadn't?"

"Nope. But I don't want to find out. At least I wouldn't exist and Jack would probably not be here. But Jack has a whole other time line context. You see? It's all very complicated. By the way, does Jack give you the heebie-jeebies?" Shadow asked interested.

"What are heebie-jeebies? But I'm not sure what to think of him. He definitely makes me feel a bit weird. Why?" River inquired, surprised that Shadow noticed.

"Because he is a fixed point in time. He can't die. Well, he can die, but he resurrects." Shadow explained. Then looked over at Jack. "Jack...?" She drew out the word.

"Yes...?" Jack answered her in the same tone.

"You don't think...I mean...she couldn't be, could she?"

"Ask her first." Jack looked at River, as did Shadow. Shadow seemed not quite sure how to say it.

"Oh, spit it out already!" River grew impatient.

"You're human, aren't you? Completely, utterly, plain human?" Shadow raised her eyebrows and looked questioningly at her.

River didn't know how she should answer that question. If she were to tell the truth, Shadow would probably shocked. But if she lied, Shadow would probably find out sooner or later. And at the speed with which Shadow's mind worked it would be sooner than later. So River settled for a half-lie.

"Somehow."

"Somehow?" Shadow muttered, then jumped up and started to pace the room, continuously muttering under her breath. "What's that supposed to mean? Only time sensitive races notice Jack as odd. Well, not odd, wrong. They notice him as wrong. Other races don't get the heebie-jeebies from Jack, they fall for him. But what's so special about you, if you aren't time sensitive? Could you have been exposed to Artron energy?"

"What are heebie-jeebies?" River interjected.

"Let her think." Jack stopped her before she could say anything else.

"So many possibilities, so many. What to do? What to do?" Shadow stopped and looked around. "The med bay. Hm...that could work. Jack, do you have a med bay here?"

"No, but we have a morgue that usually poses as med bay."

"Well, could you bring us there?"

"Of course." Jack rose from behind his desk and walked over to the door. "But don't expect much. We're definitely underequipped and the few alien gadgets aren't ready for use. Ah, see for yourself. Come on." River and Shadow followed Jack. River didn't understand what was going on. Why was Shadow making such a fuss about her being 'somehow' human?

They arrived at the morgue slash med bay. Downstairs Owen was trying to figure out some alien tech thingy. Shadow jumped down the few steps and took a quiet look over Owen's shoulder.

"What've you got there?" Shadow asked all of a sudden, making Owen jump a little.

"Well, I think it's a singularity scalpel." Owen answered slightly arrogant like always.

"You think? And what would you use it for, hm?" Shadow challenged.

"Operating, obviously." Owen got a look that seemed to say: 'What the hell have you brought in this time, Jack?'

"Hmm...River? Would you mind coming down here?" Shadow rudely ripped the alien gadget out of Owen's hands. "And **you** give that to me before you hurt yourself."

As soon as River was down, next to her, Shadow whipped around and held the gadget directly under River's nose. "What do you think this is?"

River took the thing out of Shadow's hand and closely-examined it. "Um...broken?"

"Yes and no. Yes, it is broken, but it's still functional. Therefore, it is not entirely broken. It just lacks some pieces." Shadow grinned mischievously again.

"And I presume you got the right pieces to make it entirely functional again." River thought she began to see a pattern in Shadow's different grins.

"You bet I have." And with that said, she took out her scanner and fitted it to the side of the gadget. Meanwhile, Jack, who had watched everything from upstairs, had come down and looked interested. Owen looked mildly affronted because Shadow had taken the liberty to speak against him. "You see? Now it is complete. Like what does it look now?" Shadow again held it in front of River's face.

"I don't know. The same thing but with a monitor at the side?"

"Think. You were talking about thieves earlier." River slightly shook her head. "I give you a hint: it is definitely not medical equipment, but it has the same precision." Shadow could pin-point the exact moment in which the penny dropped.

"Oh, I always wanted one of these. It was Stone Age technology already by the time I grew up, but it **is** efficient." River's eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas when it sees the presents under the tree.

"What are you saying? It's not medical? What exactly is it then?" Jack inquired.

"Well, Jack, it's equipment for thieves and the like. It's like a lock pick, useful for everyone, but especially for thieves." Shadow moved over to one of the tables at the side and held the alien gadget near one of the containers. "Thieves call it Extractor, because it can extract anything from a closed container or safe or whatever. The only thing that is able to protect your things is a deadlock seal. Basically it scans the contents of a containing object like this metal tin here, and then you can lock onto the object you want to extract." Shadow turned some dials and tapped a bit on her scanner. "I can tell you that this tin contains cotton balls and this..." Shadow turned the dials again and with a final tap on her scanner, she stretched out her hand and on it appeared a chocolate bar.

"I don't know how that got into there." Owen tried to defend himself.

"Your want it?" Shadow held the bar out to River. She took it and unwrapped it. "Jack, your staff isn't well conditioned." Shadow proceeded to tell the Captain.

"Who says one of my staff put it in there?"

"I do, because Owen is a very bad liar." Shadow retorted.

"If you wouldn't be who you are, I'd throw you out just about now. But didn't you want something else in our humble medical area?" Jack tried to change the topic to something more comfortable for him.

"Indeed, I believe I did." With that said, Shadow grabbed River's hand and put it on top of the medical scanner in the middle. It started to analyze the complete body and the DNA of River right away.

"And now?" River asked.

"We wait." Shadow answered.

"What is it doing?" River wasn't so sure anymore about her half-lie. Maybe she should've come clean when she still had the chance. But now it would seem as it she had something to hide. Well, in fact she had, but she didn't want the people here to find out. So she decided to keep silent.

"It is scanning you. A complete body scan." There was a sound from the machine and as if on cue, Jack took one glance at the big screen and immediately drew his gun and pointed it at River. Shadow instantly moved in front of River like on instinct.

"Jack, you better put the gun down and start talking." Shadow demanded with a warning glare towards Jack.

From experience Jack knew that arguing would be in vain. So he decided to comply with what Shadow had demanded and started to talk.

"Some time ago, an abandoned Teselecta landed on our doorstep. Tosh was able to load its data into our system. "

"What's a Teselecta?" Shadow somehow knew that it wasn't a harmless thing. But what exactly it was, she didn't know.

"A Teselecta is a Justice Department Vehicle. They travel through time in order to pursue criminals and to punish them. I remember them from my time at the Time Agency. Whenever one of them appeared, our jurisdiction ended."

"Wonderful. But what has that to do with her?" Shadow inquired.

"They want to give me hell. Literal hell." River sighed, causing Shadow to turn around.

River seemed troubled with what she wanted to say. She looked at Jack then back at Shadow. Then she looked at the screen. "Take a look at the screen."

Shadow turned around and read what was written there.

'Melody Pond. Known alias(es): River Song.'

"You're not really called River Song. So what?" Shadow failed to see the problem. To her knowledge, having an alias wasn't illegal. Not now and not in the future.

"Read on." River got more distraught by the minute. Shadow continued reading.

'Convicted for: Murder. Known victim(s): The Doctor.'

"Oh...I see..." Shadow was a bit shocked to say the least. She turned around and just stared at River, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly as if wanting to say something but not quite knowing what.

"You haven't seen half of it. There are also pictures of me." River turned to Jack. "If you were so kind to show her, Captain. I'm not familiar with this technology and before I break something."

Jack moved forward and typed something in. On the screen appeared some pictures, amongst them a picture of River like she looked now. Shadow looked at them and, if it was even possible, got even more shocked. After some moments she found her voice again.

"So...you killed the Doctor." Shadow repeatedly nodded her head slightly. Then, all of a sudden, Shadow she had to laugh madly.

"For heavens sake, Shadow! She killed your dad! I don't think that it's a laughing matter." Jack shouted, he couldn't see what was so funny.

"Oh, Jack. Don't you see? That's exactly what I meant when I said the universe has a very cruel sense of humor." She was interrupted by another fit of laughing. "She might be the only one able to regenerate in the whole time-spaced quadrant and the next; and I find her." Shadow turned to River. "You're Time Lord?"

"No and yes. Actually my parents are both human. But I got a bit Time Lord DNA in me, enough to let me regenerate. But I don't have any regenerations left because I gave them to save the Doctor; after I tried to kill him."

"You got a bit Time Lord DNA? But your parents are both human? How's that supposed to work?"

"The Doctor said I'm a child of the TARDIS. She even told me how to fly her. It's all very complicated and confusing."

"Oh, my dear..." Shadow laid her hands on River's shoulders and smiled. "You put the TARDIS on a guilt trip. Impressive."

"What?"

"Through you she tries to redeem herself, because she **is** responsible for the whole thing in the first place. But the TARDIS did other things that others would not like. Don't worry; I don't judge you after what you have done, but after what you do. And you should do the same thing, Jack." Shadow gave him a reproachful look.

"So...I killed your dad and you're cool with it?" River didn't understand why Shadow hadn't already beaten her up, at least.

"I'm not. But one thing I've learned is that death is relative. And no one knows that better than a Time Lord."

"But I'm not a Time Lord."

"Neither am I."

"Your not?"

"No, my mother is human. But I'm not like you or a Time Lord. My DNA is more stable. And it has to be. But I don't want to talk about that now. Now is the time for tours. Let's give you your tour through the hub." Mischievously grinning, she steered River out of the medical area and Jack led them through the hub and accentuated some rooms with anecdotes from the past.

They ended at Tosh's desk.

"And this is where we can manipulate and monitor every computer on the planet and connect to spaceships that come through the orbit." Jack gloated.

"Not every computer." Shadow shot back.

"Sarah Jane has Mr. Smith, Torchwood has Ms. Sato." He countered.

"But she isn't an alien computer."

"No, but she is a genius."

"It'll do." At that moment Tosh came back to her desk with a cup of coffee. She suspiciously looked at the three.

"Have you touched my computer?" With that simple question she made clear to everyone who didn't already know that touching her stuff would not end pleasantly.

"Course not. We'd never dare messing with your stuff." Jack calmed her.

"But I need a favor." Shadow took a step towards Tosh. "Could you get River here a place to stay? Something nice, if possible?"

"In Cardiff?"

"Yeah, it's late. And could you get me a ticket for a train to London for tomorrow morning?" Shadow asked politely.

"Of course, give me a moment and I'll have everything ready." Tosh sat down and got to work.

"Thanks. You're brilliant."

"I know. Now shoo, I've got work to do."

And the three left Toshiko alone to work. About half an hour later, she had finished. At the same time, Gwen arrived with pizza. Jack insisted on them staying to at least grab a bite. So they stayed a bit longer and ate with the team.

Shadow sat next to River and diagonally from Jack. Everytime she looked up, she could see Jack, how he was giving her a funny look. She assumed it was because she was getting along brilliantly with River.

Shadow had to admit to herself that she liked the company of River. Well, she had to admit that she actually liked River, to be honest. She liked her a lot. Each time they accidentally touched, Shadow had this tingle running down her spine. She did smile every time that happened or even when she just looked at her. Shadow hadn't smiled that much in her whole life. But something in her was incredibly happy about the fact that River was smiling back at her.

After eating and a few stories more from Jack, River and Shadow said their goodbyes to the Torchwood team and made their way to a hotel nearby. Shadow had decided to stay in a hotel for a change and not bunk on the couch in the hub. And she also had a selfish reason; she could be together with River a bit longer.

When they arrived at the hotel, they got their keys and went up to their rooms, which were next to each other. They both stood a bit undecided in front of their doors and looked at each other awkwardly.

"Um...well, here we are." Shadow made the attempt for some small talk, but didn't quite know what to say.

"Yeah..." River had the same problems.

After some moments more of awkward silence, River turned to open her door. But as soon as the door unlocked, she turned around again and grabbed Shadow, dragging her inside the room.

Once inside, River kicked the door shut, pushed Shadow against it and forcefully kissed her.

As soon as the kiss had started it ended. Both were slightly out of breath and looked at each other like they couldn't explain what was going on, which was probably true.

"Oh, whatever..." Shadow threw all caution in the wind and started what would inevitably involve a lot of sweating.


	6. Will You Love Me Tomorrow

**Chapter 6 - Will You Love Me Tomorrow**

_Tonight with words unspoken  
You say that I'm the only one  
But will my heart be broken  
When the night meets the morning sun  
\- Will You Love Me Tomorrow - The Shirelles -_

Shadow looked over at River next to her.

The faint moonlight streaming into the room illuminating it enough for her to see. River was fast asleep and so should Shadow be. But she had a troubled mind.

She had doubts about what had happened and what was going on between River and her.

It had been amazingly, mindblowingly good, but was it just a one-night stand or was it more?

As assassin, Shadow was supposed to be immune against matters of the heart. But Shadow was no assassin, at least not anymore. And with coming to this universe, she had shaken off the last bonds that had kept her from living a normal life.

But what normal life was for other people, meant for her a lot of running and fighting against aliens. Even in the other universe it had meant a lot of running and fighting. She had acquired a lot of enemies across the galaxy, most of which wanted her rather dead than alive.

And anyway, even if her life didn't almost entirely consist of running and fighting, it would be nothing to be desired. She wasn't the type of person that went well with other people. Her mental capabilities usually scared people off because they couldn't follow her thoughts.

But River was partly Time Lord that could mean that she had the mental speed of them. As a fact stood River's ability to regenerate, well, she had been able to.

And that was another reason that spoke against a relationship with River. She had killed her dad. Or she will?

River didn't seem to remember it. She had said that she had killed him but that had sounded a bit like she had accepted the fact itself. But she could've already killed him. Regeneration was a tricky process after all. The memory could've just been kicked out of her mind. And it would explain her matter-of-fact-ness when she had told them.

Or she will kill him in her timeline but was imprisoned after the date that she will have killed him. So her pursuers thought she had already killed him, but for her it is the future. Time travel; it doesn't only mess up your sentence structure but also gives you a headache when you try to unravel what has happened when and at which point.

But the death of her dad seemed to be quite the fixed point. No getting around that one. The Doctor will die.

 _We're all going to do that._ The ominous voice in her head interjected.

Shadow closed her eyes and sighed. Great, now not only her logical mind was against her but the voice, too.

But to be fair, the voice had told her that she would have to send River away again, if she were to take her with her. But right now, the decision wasn't about sending River away, but if it was better for Shadow to leave.

But Shadow's 'emotional' side was betraying her logical side. Shadow didn't even know she had an 'emotional' side until then. Sure, she had compassion and empathy but they weren't a determinant of her actions. She preferred to justify her actions with logic. After all, logic has only two options, being wrong or being right.

Emotional actions where so much a matter of grey area. With emotionally justified actions, one could be wrong but still right and vice versa. It's like the question about the poor woman that had a severely ill husband, but not the money to buy the medicine that would cure him. So she stole it. Now, was she wrong or was she right. Logic says she was wrong, because she broke the law. Emotions say that she was right because she was willing to do everything to save her husband.

But the matter at hand was obviously not a matter of logic, Shadow decided as she watched the serene features of River beside her.

Well, on the plus side was that River seemed to be able to hold her own. But Shadow knew one thing about herself for certain and that was that she couldn't be trusted. She'd probably do anything to save her own skin. But River seemed as if she'd do just the same.

They seemed to be quite the same. Almost the same background, same target, same decision, in the end at least.

 _And there they say opposites attract._

 **This is most definitely not about attraction.** Shadow began a discussion in her head with the voice.

 _I have to agree. It is not about attraction. Or opposites for that matter._

 **I was afraid of that.** Shadow didn't know where this was going. **But about what is it? Allegiances?**

 _Fate and Destiny._

 **I hate when you say that. And when you say that I have to preserve the timelines.** Shadow's mood changed suddenly. **Will I ever be free? Free to decide what I want to do and actually being able to do it?**

 _One day you will be. But for now it is your duty to preserve what is._ And with that the voice retreated into the back of Shadow's mind.

That was just brilliant. Now Shadow had still no answers, but more questions. But for now she decided to look at the possibilities.

One was to stay and face whatever the morning would bring.

The other was to leave and to hope that River was able to fend for herself.

But what choice had she really? If she were to stay, she would have to send her away eventually. And that was something that Shadow didn't want to do. Couldn't do.

Shadow looked out the window. The horizon was lightening already, soon the sun would rise.

Looking back over at her companion, she didn't know if she had the courage for either. But what she knew, was that she had to make a decision and that soon.


	7. I'll Remember You

**Chapter 7 - I'll Remember You**

_I'll remember you  
You will be there in my heart  
I'll remember you  
But that's all that I can do  
But I'll remember  
\- I'll Remember You - Sophie Zelmani -_

As the first rays of sunlight streamed into the room, Shadow stood, fully dressed, with one hand on the door handle.

She had made her decision. She wouldn't cause River more pain than necessary. And in her opinion even that was too much. She would leave. And savor what had happened between them.

But before she left, she turned around to look one last time at the one that had brought her so much joy, happiness...and pleasure.

She briefly let the events of the night play out before her inner eye.

All that had been was amazing. They had needed neither words nor sounds to communicate. They had connected on a level that was so much more powerful. Their minds had brushed against each other; they had reached out for each other. Had taken comfort and safety from each other.

But that wasn't the issue here. The issue was that she didn't want for River to be dragged into something that would hurt any or both of them.

Shadow opened her eyes, a very sad expression on her face. She better left before she couldn't anymore, before the courage left her. So she opened the door and left.

She checked out of the hotel and took a direct way to the train station. Tosh had given her the ticket yesterday. It was for the first train that was heading for London. It was an almost three-hour trip. Too much time to think. But she had to get home somehow, hadn't she? Maybe she could sleep a bit.

As she boarded the train, she knew that sleep was nothing she would get. For that she had too many doubts and other thoughts on her mind.

She wasn't even gone long, but already missed River terribly. What the hell was wrong with her?

Shadow let her head fall against the window. She should make a self-analysis of her feelings to determine what exactly was wrong with her.

Was it that she was incapable of feelings? No, she did have feelings. But it seemed that these feelings were quite extreme. Either nothing or everything. In the case of River it seemed to be everything. The feeling that had been rising within her that had peaked when she had slept with River was now the one that caused her the feeling of longing and almost physical pain.

Shadow felt like she had been sucked into one of these cheesy love movies. Whoa, love movie? Was this what love felt like? If it was, she could do without. Seriously, all this drama was nothing for her.

She would remember River, and she would always have a place in her heart, but in the long run, there would be nothing between them.

Acceptance of facts, that's what had kept Shadow sane all those years. And it would keep her from falling apart now. She had to accept that there was a strong attraction between River and her. And anyway, they would probably never see again. The universe was a big place after all. And it was very unlikely that River would come after her. River would probably think it to be a one-night stand and move on.

But still, it would be nice, if River weren't to give her up without a fight. No! Shadow couldn't allow herself to think that way. It would cause even more pain than she already had.

It would be better, if she were to put the whole deal behind her and move on.

Moving on, that was good.

By the time Shadow came to that conclusion, she was almost in London at the station she had to get off. She resolved to not let herself get down by the matter and appear as normal as ever. Then she got up and off the train.

Upon arrival on Bannerman Road she was stopped by on of the neighbors, Petulah Welsh.

The woman was coming towards her in a pink bathrobe and had her hair in curlers. That woman was like a curse, she always appeared when she was least needed. And always wanted to talk to you and in the end she was just yapping herself. But that woman could afford it; she was making a fortune with writing erotic novels. Shadow herself had the whole package of novels collecting dust under her bed. Jack had thought it very funny to give them to her last Christmas. Shadow hadn't thought it very funny and neither had Sarah Jane.

Sarah Jane still thought Shadow to be 17. Actually Shadow was 26 by now. Shadow had herself experienced the effects of negative Rift activity. It had placed her somewhere, where Shadow really didn't want to think about. To her it had been a couple years, to Sarah Jane and the gang it had been a week. Shadow still hadn't the courage to tell her how long she really had been gone and where she had been.

Anyway, that nagging neighbor demanded a bit of attention, so Shadow put on an interested face and started listening a bit to give the appropriate answers.

"Oh, my dear. I haven't seen you in a long time. Have you been ill?"

"No, Miss Welsh, I haven't been ill. I was visiting a friend up in Cardiff." If she only knew, where I really was, Shadow thought to herself.

"Cardiff? Really?" Shadow nodded. "But isn't that a long way away? Well, when I was younger I traveled around a bit. Even further than Cardiff." 'Glasgow?' Shadow thought while still nodding. She tuned out the rest of Miss Welsh's yapping, only nodding every now and then or making an affirmative noise. After a couple of minutes, Shadow tried to subtly look at her non-existent watch. Of course, Miss Welsh noticed, just like Shadow had intended.

"Oh, where has the time gone? You can completely forget the time when you are having a nice chat." Shadow smiled her best fake smile.

"Yes, totally. But I'm better going. You know, Sarah Jane probably wants to know that I'm safely home. Was nice talking to you, Miss Welsh." And Shadow took off. That woman could be used to get a Dalek to surrender.

Shadow hoped that Sarah Jane hadn't already finished breakfast, for she was hungry like a starving lioness.

After she had closed the door behind her, she was greeted with Sarah Jane looking at her from the entrance of the living room.

Shadow tried to cover up any surprise and, of course, any trace of her melancholy. "Good Morning, Sarah Jane."

"Good Morning. I hadn't expected you to be here so early." Shadow did absolutely not like the look that Sarah Jane was giving her right now. It meant that she knew something. Shadow decided to check and confirm with a more or less offensive move.

"Jack called?"

"Jack called." Shadow sighed. That was definitely not how she had planned the day. She had planned for a nice shower and then a long and relaxing sleep.

"Look, I'm really tired, but I will answer your questions, if you promise me a cup of tea. I'll just run up and change. I'm there in five minutes." Shadow silently pleaded.

"Alright. But it won't be nice for you, if you aren't in the kitchen in five minutes." Shadow ran up the stairs to her room. She didn't know what Sarah Jane would do but she really didn't want to find out.

And exactly four minutes and 53 seconds later Shadow sat down at the kitchen table. Sarah Jane put down a steaming mug in front of her and took a seat opposite her. Shadow took a sip from the mug and put it down on the table again. She then looked down on the table, closed her eyes, sighed deeply and eventually let her guard drop.

"I'm sorry." Shadow whispered and looked up with one of the saddest looks in her eyes that Sarah Jane had ever seen. It almost broke her heart to see the strong personality before her so broken.

"What happened?" Was all Sarah Jane could say. But it was enough.


	8. Tell Her This

**Chapter 8 - Tell Her This**

_Tell her what was wrong  
I sometimes think too much  
But say nothing at all  
And tell her from this high terrain  
I am ready now to fall  
\- Tell Her This - Del Amitri -_

"Well, I'm not quite sure what exactly happened myself. It's all a bit confusing and muddled up. And I know that it was part of our deal that I keep no secrets, except the ones that could endanger the timelines, of course, but here I am, trying to keep something secret." Shadow stopped herself and took a deep breath because she was babbling. And when she didn't want to end up as a sobbing mess, she needed to control her thoughts. Especially the ones that she verbalized.

"It's alright. Just tell me what happened at the prison." Sarah Jane was a bit at a loss for what to do. Shadow wasn't the type to accept comforting of any kind. But she had learned by now that every time Shadow started to babble, her brain was almost in overdrive and all one could do to prevent her brain from shutting down, was to bring it onto one track and keep it there. Focus was needed.

"I was on board the ship and we were nearing the orbit. Then I geared up and double-checked my equipment. Just before I teleported down onto the surface, the pilot got the message that his cash hadn't been transferred. He pulls his gun, I give him a comment and am gone."

"Good. What happened then?" Sarah Jane didn't like the part about the gun and how Shadow had handled it but Shadow was taking after her father in that matter.

"Then I broke in into the building where the Extrapolator was in. Looked up a route there, memorized it flawlessly and then got lost. I really don't know how they managed it to get the corridors moving. That is something that the TARDIS does. She gets you lost for her amusement. But how could that be in a prison? I don't think that at the time of the construction the technology existed to let the corridors move as a security system. So how did they do it?"

"Shadow!" Sarah Jane stopped the word torrent coming from Shadow. She had been going off on a tangent. "I don't care how the corridors were moving. What happened then?"

"What? Oh, sorry. Then, as I was walking down the same corridor for the third time, some guards crossed my way. I tried to hide but they spotted me and I took them out and taped them to a wall. Then I walked further down the corridor but I saw something out of the corner of my eye. Curious as I am, I took a closer look and found a woman standing, or more leaning, casually against the bars of her cell. We talked, made a deal and I let her out."

"You what? You can't just break out prisoners. Bad enough that you broke **into** a prison. Now you break prisoners **out** of the prison? What were you thinking?"

"Firstly, it wasn't prisoners, it was prisoner. Singular, one person. And secondly, I was thinking that it might be my only chance to get the Extrapolator and get out of there alive. By the way, the Extrapolator was the Extrapolator of that woman. Anyway, we make our way to the storage room, get the Extrapolator, get locked in by the guards, improvise a bit, bomb, no, smoke our way out and in the end I took her with me because the guards that were after us, were about to shoot us. And that was only the beginning of a series of mistakes I made."

Shadow took another sip from her mug.

"I took her with me when I gave the Extrapolator to Margaret the Slitheen. Have you ever realized how dumb the Slitheen's are? Anyway, after that I took her with me to this time and introduced her to the Torchwood team. Big mistake, that one." Shadow briefly smiled in remembrance. "She could smell Jack's 51st century pheromones and he was making her itch, well, she noticed that there was something weird about him. And well, due to Jack's unique nature of being a fixed point in time, only time sensitive races notice that there is something not quite right about him. And added to that her immunity against his pheromones, led me to question, if she really was as human as she appeared to be, hence I did a complete bio-scan of her."

Sarah Jane really hoped that there would be a bottom line to this. Shadow seemed to be able to ramble just like her father, too. And it wasn't really helping that Shadow spoke very fast.

"Turns out that she has a record on file at Torchwood. Torchwood got that file from an abandoned Teselecta. A Justice Department Vehicle. Remind me to kick their butts out of the solar system, if we ever should encounter one of these. It seems they travel through time and give criminals hell, literal hell. And they are even higher in the food chain than the Time Agency. They remind me a bit of the CIA. Well, I don't mean the Central Intelligence Agency, I mean the Celestial Intervention Agency on Gallifrey. They are even worse than the CIA on Earth. But anyway, that's a story for another time. So, where was I?"

"She was on file at Torchwood." If that was a good thing or not, she couldn't decide. The Captain had said something about a big and unexpected surprise. But was this it?

"Right. So, the scan completes, it beeps and a file pops up. Jack draws his gun, points it at her and I suddenly stand in front of her. Turns out she is one of the most wanted criminals in the universe. And one of the most dangerous." A goofy smile spread across Shadow's face.

"And you brought her here?" Sarah Jane thought that it couldn't get worse. But as she observed Shadow's reactions, she realized that Murphy's Law was at work here. Anything that can get worse will get worse. "And you fell for her." That got Shadow's attention.

"No, yes, maybe. I don't know. It's all very complicated. I don't even really understand it."

"Well, I don't understand it either. But maybe we could cast some light on the situation together." Shadow thought it might be worth a try. After all, Sarah Jane was less rational than her. So Shadow nodded her consent.

"Good. Then let's start with her name."

"River Song." Shadow frowned. "Or Melody Pond."

"Which one? Melody or River? Or don't you know that, too?"

"I know it. She said it's River Song and I believe her. Pond is the name she went by in the past. She is trying to redeem herself for what she did...will do." And time was a pain again. Why did everything have to be so complicated?

"Alright. What's her crime?"

"Murder."

"Just murder?" Shadow nodded. "In my experience, murder alone doesn't qualify you to become the most wanted criminal in the universe. Except... How many people?"

"Just one person."

"Who?" That had to be one really important person.

Shadow sighed. "The Time Lord known as the Doctor."

"Impossible."

"Obviously not."

"And you freed her?" A slightly accusatory tone crept into Sarah Jane's voice.

"I didn't know that then." Shadow defended herself. "And anyway, she doesn't seem to be able to recall that event. She seemed to have accepted the fact. Maybe it's her future."

"Even worse."

Shadow looked at Sarah Jane disbelievingly for a moment. Then something in her ignited and flared up. Her eyes narrowed and a deep, wolfish growl escaped her throat.

"Do not talk about her like that. Sometimes people can't choose what they have to do. Sometimes everything goes smoothly and sometimes the universe throws abysmal problems at you. And when faced with a decision over life and death of a loved one, sometimes you have to choose death to gain life. A bargain with the devil is something that can sometimes work for you, instead of it being used against you." The air around Shadow seemed to bristle with power. "And remember this: Never judge someone by actions committed in the past or in the future. Judge them by actions committed in the present." With that said, everything around Shadow returned to normal, leaving no trace of what had happened mere moments ago.

Sarah Jane sat in her chair, slightly intimidated and taken aback by the display of power from Shadow. Looking over at Shadow it looked as if she, too, had no clue about what had just happened.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have judged her without knowing her." Sarah Jane smiled faintly. "You must really have it bad."

"Maybe. But it doesn't matter anymore; I left her to her own devices."

"You did what? Are you insane?" Sarah Jane couldn't believe it. First, Shadow had a violent reaction because she thought the girl to be misjudged and then she just leaves her, although she obviously cared a great deal about her.

"You know how it is. Insanity runs in the family." A short lived one-sided smile crossed her face.

"Yeah. But I still don't get, why Jack called me and said it might be a little later that you'd be here." It was one of these situation in which you want and also don't want to know what happened or what was going on.

"Well, River and I left together at Torchwood yesterday. Jack probably thinks that we...well, um...that we hit the sheets."

"Oh...and did you?" Definitely a situation she usually didn't want to know what happened but asked anyway because she cared.

A deep sigh. "Yes. And it was amazing. Totally mind-blowing." Sarah Jane held up a hand and stopped Shadow before she could delve into to much detail.

"I really don't want to know. But you know that if you go by human law it would've been statutory rape. You're still just 17."

"Well, I think it's time to come clean about that one." Shadow gulped down the rest of her tea. "I'm not 17 anymore. I'm 26."

"What? How?" It seemed to be a day for surprises.

"I was swallowed by the Rift and transported somewhere, where I would have rather not been. And I really don't want to talk about."

"How did you get back? And when did this happen anyway?" Concern was evident in Sarah Jane's voice.

"You remember the week when I suddenly disappeared and then reappeared and you said that I had changed but I refused to talk about where I had been?"

"Yes."

"That's when. And I got back on the same way as I got in. It was as if it was some kind of mission. It was definitely weird." Shadow tried to discourage Sarah Jane from inquiring further.

"Alright. But what do you think is going to happen to River now?"

"I don't know. I hope she doesn't come looking for me."

"Why? Would it really be that bad, if she were to pursue you?"

"I'm not really someone anyone would really want to be romantically involved with. I hope for her that she takes it as a one-time thing and moves on."

"And what if she doesn't? What if she does want to be involved with you? What should I do, if she were to appear here and wants to talk to you?" Sarah Jane didn't want Shadow to make the same mistake like her just because she was afraid. There was a lot Shadow seemed to have inherited from her father. The commitment issues seemed to be amongst the lot.

"I don't know. You're the one that writes stories. You'll think of something to dissuade her from wanting to talk to me."

"I'm a journalist. I write about facts, not fiction."

"Except when you're writing about fiction." Shadow cut in, earning a glare from Sarah Jane.

"But still, do you want me to say you're here or what? Do you want to talk to her? I think you owe her that much, after taking off in the middle of the night."

"I didn't take off in the middle of the night. And who said that I did take off at all?" One look was enough to make Shadow cave. "Okay I did take off. But it was in the morning, not the middle of the night."

"You should probably tell her, why you did take off in the first place."

"You think? I don't even know why I did that."

"Maybe you were scared."

"I'm not scared of anything."

"Then maybe it's time. Maybe you're scared of being hurt. Maybe you're scared of hurting someone else."

"No. I'm not scared." Shadow tried more to convince herself than anyone else.

"Then what should I tell her?"

"Tell her, I emigrated to Raxacoricofallapatorius. And I left no forwarding address. But it wasn't her, it was me." With that, Shadow stood up brought her mug to the sink. "And now I'm going to bed. And I don't want to be disturbed, except World War Three broke out. Good Night." Shadow left the kitchen and made her way upstairs and into her bed, being almost instantly asleep.

Downstairs, fairly concerned, sat Sarah Jane. She didn't know the full story, of that she was sure. Shadow was definitely hiding something. Probably it was something that voice of hers had said to her that had upset her so much. She took a look at the clock on the wall. It was around noon.

She got up and brought her own mug to the sink. Then went to the living room, maybe she could read a bit.

She had just sat down with her book and gotten comfortable, as the phone rang. She got up grumbling slightly and took the call.

"Yeah."

"Whoa, Miss Smith, what did Shadow do to make you that grumpy?"

"Sorry, Captain. What have I done to deserve a second call today from Torchwood?"

"Well, you will get a visitor later."

"Oh, what's her name? River?"

"Yes. How did you...?"

"Shadow told me. Sort of. She was miserable and I made her tell me. And anyway, I suspected that she would be wrong in believing that no one would want to be romantically involved with her."

"Oh, commitment issues. The Doctor will get a big surprise once he finds out. Anyhow, I just wanted to give you the heads up, not that Shadow decides to make a run for it."

"She told me that I should say she emigrated to Raxacoricofallapatorius with no forwarding address. So, thank you. Was that all?"

"Yes, that was all. Goodbye."

"Bye."

That could get interesting. Sarah Jane was in no way inclined to let Shadow get away with not facing her fears and not talking to River.


	9. Yesterday

**Chapter 9 - Yesterday**

_Yesterday  
All my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh, I believe in yesterday  
Suddenly  
I'm not half the man I used to be  
There's a shadow hanging over me  
Oh, yesterday came suddenly  
\- Yesterday – The Beatles -_

When River Song woke up that morning, she didn't know that she was facing a fork in the metaphorical road. She could take the easy way, but the more painful. Or she could take the hard way, but the one for which she had to fight with all that she was worth. But before she realized all that, she lay there, still a little fuzzy from sleep, blissfully unaware.

That changed as soon as she stretched her arms to both her sides and hit thin air. In a jolt, she was wide awake and bolted upright. Looking around she had to realize that she was alone. Shadow had left her there. All alone. Gone without a word. And River thought she had left this sort of thing behind.

She got up and put her clothes on. Well, she tried to do it as fast as she could but she had to find them first, for they were scattered all across the room. Shadow's clothes must have been scattered as well, so River asked herself why she hadn't noticed that Shadow had left.

Well, no use in crying over spilled milk, River thought to herself when she was finally dressed. She had to decide what to do next. Should she go on as though nothing had happened between Shadow and her or should she find Shadow and demand an answer as to why she had left?

The dull feeling inside her pretty much decided that question for her. She would go after Shadow. But first, she had to find her.

Shadow was probably on her way to London by now, River reckoned. That was a start, but London was a big city and River didn't know where to start looking for her in London. But then it occurred to her that Jack might know where Shadow was. So she decided to go back to Torchwood and ask him about the exact whereabouts of a certain someone.

She left the hotel, dropping the key at the desk, and made her way back to Cardiff Bay. Yesterday, they had left through the official entrance, so River knew where to enter and hadn't to stand around in front of the water tower all day, hoping someone might notice.

When she stepped inside the tourist information, Ianto was there. He looked up and seemed mildly surprised.

"Can I help you, Miss?" He asked.

"Yes, actually. I really need to speak to Jack. It's important." Ianto nodded and reached under the counter and to River's right, a hidden door opened. "Thank you."

"No problem, Miss." Should she correct him? No, she had more important things to do right now. So she walked back into the Torchwood hub.

Jack was already waiting for her. They looked at each other and then he turned around and led them into his office. As soon as they were seated, Jack came to the point.

"She made a run for it." It was a statement, not a question and River knew it. Still, she answered.

"Yes, she did. I just don't know why, though."

"Oh, that's easily explained. Commitment issues. She inherited them from her dad." That surprised River a bit.

"The Doctor has commitment issues? That I never noticed." This got Jack suspicious.

"What exactly is your relationship with the Doctor?" River decided to be truthful. If she ever wanted to get somewhere here, she had to be utterly truthful now.

"I'm his wife."

"Wife?" Jack interrupted. "And you have an affair with his daughter?"

"It's complicated. Very complicated." She thought for a moment. "And really easy at the same time. The Doctor is like a flame that burns brightly through the ages. It has always been like that when I was with him." She sighed and then looked Jack into the eye. "But Shadow is like a blazing, raging inferno that can't be put out. She just blew me away. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. And the feelings I have for the Doctor are really strong. But the ones I hold for her are even stronger."

Jack could see that she spoke the absolute truth, but at the same time just realized the truth of what she had said herself. And it seemed to him that she was a bit taken aback.

"You do realize that you have to fight a very strong enemy to get her?" Jack wanted to know how far she would go. "And I don't mean the Doctor." He added as an afterthought.

"I don't know who you mean, but I'm more than willing to fight for her." Determination shone in her eyes.

"You know what? I believe you. And because of that I'm going to help you and tell you who you have to fight. But first, I will call someone, again, and tell her you're coming."

"Shadow?" River asked while Jack reached for the phone and dialed the number.

"Sarah Jane Smith."

After Jack had made the call, he got up and grabbed his coat. "Come on. I'll drive you there."

The drive was quiet but after an hour and a half of mulling, musing, doubting and reinforcing of what she was about to do, River remembered something Jack had said earlier.

"You said you'd tell me who would have to fight to convince Shadow." She looked over at him and saw that he looked a bit uneasy.

"Well, I don't even understand what is going on with her either; all I know is that it's something very powerful. And, you could say, it's all in her head."

"How do you know that?"

"Well, we were on a mission once and she blundered in, seemingly without a plan, and, well, firstly, she was shot at and ducked at the right times and always avoided the shots..."

"Time Lord reflexes." River cut in. "She can see Time to a certain degree. I can, too. It's quite handy actually."

"Oh, I forgot. You're one of 'em." Jack looked a bit mock-annoyed. "Anyway, to get the point, she then pulled out knowledge she shouldn't possess and threw the others of their game, giving us enough time to take them in."

"So she is good at gathering intel." River shrugged.

"No, what I'm saying is, I asked her afterwards, how she knew it and she answered with two gestures." Jack pointed with his right hand at his head and then made a V with his index and middle finger and pulled them from under his chin outward with the back of his hand facing away from him.

"Mind. Voice." River translated for herself.

"That's exactly what I found out, once I had it translated. You speak that language?"

"I don't speak it, I can interpret it." Jack looked confused. "It's a bit like being able to read Greek without actually being able to speak it."

"Oh. Anyway, I think what Shadow meant was that there is a voice in her head that tells her things. And I also think that this voice, whatever it may be, is something she listens to when it tells her to do something."

"You're probably right with the voice thing. And you think that this voice told her to leave me?" River hesitated a moment before continuing. "That it maybe told her that I'm married to the Doctor? And this made her leave?"

"I honestly don't know. All I know is what I told you. Maybe Sarah Jane can tell you more, seeing as they are living under the same roof and are continuously in trouble together." Jack smirked.

"Some things can't be helped." River whispered before watching the scenery outside the window pass by again, thinking hard about how she should proceed with the new knowledge and what it might mean. It seemed as if she was in need of a battle plan.

When Jack pulled up at the end of Bannerman Road, River still had no battle plan and didn't know what she could say or do to convince Shadow of her sincerity. She would just have to take a page out of Shadow's book and simply blunder into the scene. That would get her somewhere at least. Even if it were just a free trip to the land of embarrassment. She looked at Jack because she felt his eyes on her.

"Let's do this." She said, nodded and then got out of the car.


	10. I Feel You, So I Need You

**Chapter 10 - I Feel You, So I Need You**

_They gave me a life that's not so easy to live  
And then they sent me on my way  
I left my love and forgot my dreams  
I lost them all along the way  
\- I Feel You – 3 Doors Down -_

 _If you could step into my head  
Tell me would you still know me  
If you woke up in my bed  
Tell me then would you hold me  
Or would you simply let it lie  
Leaving me to wonder why  
I can't get you out of this head  
That I call mine  
\- So I Need You – 3 Doors Down -_

River and Jack walked over to the driveway of 13 Bannerman Road. But just as they stood there and Jack wanted to leave again and send River on her way, they were greeted by a woman with wavy hair.

"Ah, hello there, Mr Harkness. What a nice surprise." Jack inwardly rolled his eyes at the obviousness of that woman. That was a woman Jack didn't want to shag, no matter what. But still he stayed civil towards her. He didn't want to affront Sarah Jane's neighbors. That could be dangerous.

"Miss Welsh. You look nice today. New haircut?" That caused her to fluff up her hair a bit.

"Well, indeed. Thanks for noticing. And who is your friend there?" She finally acknowledged River's presence, giving her a once-over.

"River Song. Pleased to meet you." River smiled and extended her hand. Miss Welsh took it and gave a meek handshake. "Likewise." Was Miss Welsh's cold, clipped response.

"She's here to visit Sarah Jane. I just took her along because I had some business here in London." Jack tried to intervene. If the thing between Shadow and River should get somewhere, it would be better for the gossiping neighbor not to be jealous.

"She is? Well then, Mr Harkness, maybe you can come over for tea later." Miss Welsh was nicer in an instant upon learning that River was not with Jack.

"I'm afraid that's not possible. I have to get back to Cardiff as soon as possible. My business doesn't run itself and my subordinates get sloppy when I'm not around." He smiled.

"Oh, I forgot you're from Cardiff. Has Shadow visited you in Cardiff?" That woman was getting nosy. Jack decided to bend the truth a bit and hoped that River would tag along.

"No, why?"

"Well, this morning, Shadow arrived back here and we had a little chat. She said, she had been visiting a friend up in Cardiff. You didn't meet her?"

"No, I really didn't meet her. If I had, I would have asked her, if she wanted to come with me to London." River was good, Jack realized as he glanced over at her, she didn't even move a muscle at the blatant lie he was telling. "Save money, you know."

"Of course you would have. You're such a nice guy." At that moment, Sarah Jane, who had watched the conversation from a window, came down the driveway.

"Oh, you're here. Finally, I've been waiting for you. I hope Jack did drive alright?" Sarah Jane greeted River warmly.

"Yes, Sarah Jane, he did." River knew that this was partly a ploy for getting rid of this Miss Welsh, so she played along.

"My driving is not that bad!" Jack tried to defend himself. This only earned him a look from Sarah Jane and River.

"Well, I think I'll be going now. I just remembered I've got to run down to the store." Miss Welsh piped up and turned to Jack. "Next time your in town and have a little more time, come over for a cup of tea."

"Certainly." Jack assured.

"Alright. Bye." She turned around and walked away.

"I thought she'd never leave." Jack sighed as soon as Miss Welsh was out of earshot.

And that was the end of Sarah Jane's pleasantries. She looked at River with steely eyes.

"Well, I'm off then, been nice seeing you again, Miss Smith. Till next time." Jack picked up on the sudden chill and excused himself, all but running back to the car.

"I know you probably have a lot of questions and probably want to tear me limb from limb but, please, let us take this inside." River asked of Sarah Jane. Sarah Jane nodded coldly, then swiftly turned around and left River to follow her, which she did.

When they were in the living room and River had sat down upon indication from Sarah Jane, River tried to explain herself. "Miss Smith, I..." But was cut short by Sarah Jane.

"You're quiet now. I talk, you listen and you will only talk after I gave permission. Understood?" River nodded. This woman was not someone to mess with, she realized.

"Good. I don't know who you are; all I know is that you made a mess out of Shadow. The strongest and most controlled person I've ever met. And trust me when I say, I've met a lot of different people across time and space. From the few things that Shadow told me, I gather that you are imprisoned for murder of the Doctor. I don't know what your business with him is and I don't want to know. Shadow doesn't go into much detail about her adventures across the universe but when they are anything like the ones of the Doctor, she is constantly in mortal peril. Anyway, I don't know when she turned 26 or where. She doesn't want to talk about it. But what I want to know from you is that your intentions are absolutely sincere. That this is not all a ploy to get to her and then kill her, too."

River looked expectantly at Sarah Jane, not breaking the order to only talk when given permission.

"You can talk now." Sarah Jane realized her orders.

"First of all, I don't want to kill Shadow. I didn't even want to kill the Doctor. He forced me. He married me so that I would kill him."

"Wait." Sarah Jane held up a hand. "You are the Doctor's wife?"

"Yes, I am." River briefly wondered why everyone was so surprised that she was married to the Doctor.

"Oh, that is just brilliant. But I guess with the Doctor involved, it's all a bit dysfunctional when it comes to family matters." Sarah Jane said with a small smile, reminiscing.

At that moment Sarah Jane's front door was ripped open and in stormed two teenagers. River instinctively sprang to her feet and jumped in front of Sarah Jane in a flash, reaching for her non-existent gun. The two intruders stopped dead in her tracks and looked at Sarah Jane who peered around River.

"Sarah Jane, are you okay?" Tried the girl.

"Yeah, Rani called and said she saw Jack walking very fast to his car. So, where is the danger? And who's she?" The boy added, somewhat rudely.

River turned around to Sarah Jane, relaxing again, and raised her eyebrows questioningly. Sarah Jane nodded slightly, giving permission for her to talk freely again. Thus River turned back around and faced the enthusiastic teenagers.

"My name is River Song. I'm here because of Shadow and I am of no danger to you."

"Alien?" The boy interjected.

"Sort of." River said whilst sitting down again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The boy again.

"Clyde!" Sarah Jane spoke up. "I think your mother would be very disappointed, if she knew you are not introducing yourself before you ask questions that would be considered rude." Then she sat down herself.

"Sorry." The two sat down, too.

"Clyde has a point, though. What is it supposed to mean?" Sarah Jane asked River.

"Well, it's complicated. Very complicated." She drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Basically, I'm human. But I was conceived in the TARDIS. So the background radiation mixed with my genes, making me partially Time Lord. I even had been able to regenerate. So, you see, I'm a sort of-alien."

Then angry footfall could be heard coming down the stairs. And a grumbling. And then Shadow appeared in the door.

"What in the name of sanity, are you doing here, yelling about? I'm trying to sleep..." Then she spotted River. "Oh. You." River stood.

"Yes, me." There was a sizzling tension in the room suddenly. Sarah Jane looked at Rani and Clyde and then motioned for them to follow her outside. When out in the corridor, Sarah Jane closed the door behind her but left it open a crack so that in case of an emergency, they could step in between the two inside. And she was very curious...

"Sarah Jane, what is going on?" Whispered Rani behind her.

Sarah Jane turned around and faced the two. "Shadow came home this morning and was in a state of near breakdown. She told me she had met someone but that wouldn't work out because no one would even be remotely interested in her in a romantic way. Then Shadow dropped the bomb and said that she isn't 17 anymore but 26. But she refused to talk about it. Then she went to sleep. Shortly after, Jack called and told me that I would get a visitor today. Jack brought her himself." At the confused looks from Rani and Clyde, she added. "River is the one Shadow was with last night. And now psst...it gets interesting." Sarah Jane turned around again and peered into the room. The other two followed suit, still not quite understanding what was going on.

Inside the living room River and Shadow still hadn't moved a muscle and were just sizing each other up. Then Shadow spoke up.

"What do you want?" Her words were harsh.

River made several attempts to speak but everything she could have said sounded dumb to her ears. In the end she settled for simply saying "You."

Shadow narrowed her eyes suspiciously, prompting River to elaborate. "I want you. Hell, I don't even just want you. I have absolutely fallen for you. You need to believe me, I have never felt anything like this before. When I woke up and you were gone...the emptiness I felt inside was almost painful."

River sat down again. Shadow made a few steps towards her. She looked down at herself, if she ever were to blush, she would do so now, but she never blushed, so she didn't. She stood there, before River, in a pair of old, slightly ripped grey cargo pants and a t-shirt that would reach over her knees, if she hadn't tucked it into the trousers. And her hair was still a little tousled from sleeping. She tried to straighten it a bit but to no real avail. Dropping her hands again she walked forward and sat down next to River.

"Why did you come here? You could have walked away from it, could have forgotten everything...could have forgotten me. Why come after me and risk more pain?" Shadow looked into River's eyes with a sorrowful expression.

"Because..." River drew a shaky breath. "Because I wanted to know why you left. Last night, there was something more between us than just physical attraction. It was a meeting of minds. Our minds were intertwined in bliss. And forgive me, when I'm getting sappy now, but I believe you've felt it, too. So why did you leave?"

Shadow looked away from her. She was in a conflict. If she told her, her resolve to stay away from her would break away completely and she couldn't let that happen; but River deserved the truth about it. Shadow rose from her place and started to pace. After several stops and starts, she came to a final halt and faced River.

"You know, my life has never been easy. I have been through hell to get here. Well, I didn't _get_ here by choice. I got here because I was send here. Well, not here here...but I ended up here. Wibbly-wobbly. Anyway, I wasn't shocked when I found out that you're imprisoned for the murder of the Doctor because that was, and probably still is, my mission when I was send here." Shadow sensed that River was about to interrupt. "No! Please let me get this out." Shadow all but pleaded with her eyes for understanding from River.

"I have been conceived in this universe but my parents were forced apart by some...whatever. But what I'm trying to say is that I was born in another universe, where I had been abducted by some people that are mortal enemies of the Doctor's. Well, my mum was at that time trying to find a secure path back to my dad and left me with my grandparents. Very high-ranking and influential people over there. But they couldn't prevent that I was taken. Anyway, these people moved me across the galaxy and far away. They trained me to be a merciless and fearless assassin without regrets. They didn't do it in a nice and fluffy way, by the way. They had sent me out across the galaxy to eliminate targets they wanted eliminated. I did what was required of me. I obeyed. Albeit sometimes I interpreted my assignments a bit...freely. If the person I was told to eliminate, was some good person that actually helped the people and didn't let them suffer then I tried my hardest to find a way to keep this person alive, to not have to kill it. Except it was a fixed point in time, of course." Shadow resumed her previous position next to River.

"I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm not used to feel any emotion. I prefer to justify my actions with logic. I'm not saying that I don't have any emotions, just my emotions come in second when I have to make a decision." At this point Shadow looked back up into River's eyes. "To put it simply...I just got scared, that's all. I got scared of what there might be, I got scared of what you made me feel, I got scared of that I got scared. And I'm not even making sense anymore." At that point River took Shadow's face in both her hands and looked her deeply in the eyes.

"You are making perfect sense to me. You're a psychopathic sociopath. You were made one. Emotions never touched you and you didn't have any emotions. And when you showed emotions it was a ploy. But now you're feeling something and it's alright. You don't have to be scared of it." River let her hands drop to Shadow's shoulders. Then smiled. "You know what's kind of funny though?" Shadow slightly shook her head. "Our lives seem to have a lot of parallels. Just the ones that took me took my mother first and then they took me. They also trained me to become a killer, an assassin. But my one and only mission was to kill the Doctor." At Shadow's slight incline of her head River explained further.

"Yes, I succeeded. But I did it kicking and screaming. Well, metaphorically speaking. I didn't want to kill him anymore. On my first meeting with him all I initially wanted was to kill him; and I almost succeeded then. But he showed me that everything I had been taught about him was a lie. He did care about everyone although he himself was dying. He pleaded and begged me to save my parents. The ones that had raised me had taught me he didn't care about anyone except himself. But there, right in front of my eyes, was he lying on the ground, dying, and still trying to save them. I did save them. And then I saved him. I threw everything I knew out the window and saved him. I screwed their mission and decided to go my own way. Their stupid war wasn't worth it." Now River got up and started to pace.

"On my second meeting with him though, they had succeeded in forcing me to kill him. Well, they had drugged me and then put into an astronaut suit with special weapons systems." River turned and looked at Shadow willing her to understand. "I didn't want to kill him because I loved him. I still do. And at that moment I drained the weapons system and rewrote a fixed point. That caused time to collapse in on itself and everything happened at once. Well, practically time stopped. We, the Doctor, my parents and me, gathered on top of a pyramid and I told him that he didn't have to die. That everyone he helped would be willing to return the favor. But that insufferable man had already mapped out a plan of his own. I really should have known." She resumed pacing for a moment again.

"I loved him so much and I was willing to do almost everything to save him. So he married me on top of that pyramid to ensure that I would kill him. We...kissed and time...healed because I then killed him. He didn't really die, by the way. He just sort of faked his death. Anyway, I never told anyone till now that the Doctor is still alive. But you've got to believe me that although I love the Doctor, I love you more. I know we hardly know each other and you probably see me as some kind of weird person now because I'm sort of your stepmother and I knew it and I shouldn't react in this way to you and...and...and..." River was rambling and on the verge of completely breaking down. Shadow realized this and took immediate action, stepping in front of River and grabbing her shoulders.

"Ssh... It's alright. And no, I don't think you're weird. I just think the universe has a kind of cruel sense of humor. And we might not know each other for very long but sometimes we don't need to when it hits us. And if I were you, I wouldn't worry that much about the marriage with my dad." That calmed River down again but then also confused her.

"Why shouldn't I worry about it?"

"I'll explain it some other time." Shadow smiled.

"Like you explained to me why you did expect more guards?" Quipped River.

"Exactly." Shadow still smiled but now also moved closer, dropping her voice to a barely audible whisper. "You know...you really are hot when you're flustered." River looked disbelievingly. "And absolutely cute when you look like this."

"Oh, stop it." River whispered back, by now also smiling, moving towards Shadow so that their faces were not even an inch apart. Deeply looking into Shadow's eyes, searching for something she wasn't even sure of herself.

Apparently Shadow had also done some searching but had already found what she was looking for because she closed the distance between them, letting both forget everything around them.

The last semi-coherent thought flitting through River's mind was not one of her own but one from Shadow. It whispered, it challenged. "Make me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...the next chapter could take some time. I am currently writing it. But it will probably not out before next year. Well, the start of next year. I'll be quite busy until the end of the year. And that is not the best circumstance for writing.


	11. Anything, Please Forgive Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, here we are again. About four month later than I initially expected. But this chapter was really mean to me. And now I've decided to be mean to it and now it can be frustrating elsewhere. I've already started on the next chapter and if that doesn't throw a tantrum it will be finished soon. As soon as possible for I've got another project right now. But more to that at the end. Now enjoy the chapter and please review.
> 
> A/N2: I'm aware that I'm using something in this chapter that is here not what it is in real life. And I've got no rights to it either. It, too, belongs to its rightful owners. Just wanted to say it to be on the safe side.

** Chapter 11 – Anything, Please Forgive Me **

_I'm a fire  
Burning like a house aflame  
I am motionless  
I cannot move  
I only see you fly  
\- Anything – Clement & Murray -_

_Still feels like our best times are together  
Feels like the first touch  
Still getting closer baby  
Can't get close enough  
\- Please Forgive Me – Bryan Adams -_

* * *

When Sarah Jane realized that the atmosphere in her living room was quickly becoming inappropriate for children, she grabbed Rani and Clyde and dragged them to the front door.

"I've got an idea. Let's go out." Sarah Jane's proposition was met with skeptic looks from the other two. "I'm paying." That changed the situation. Now their looks where enthusiastic and they almost bolted out the door. Sarah Jane followed them and, with a last glance in the direction of the living room, closed the door behind her.

Inside the living room, things indeed where heating up but not to the point Sarah Jane had expected them to. It might not have looked like it but Shadow as well as River had still some self-control. They were definitely not going to jump each other just because the physical attraction between them was almost unbearable. And Shadow would most definitely not have sex in the living room of the woman who provided her with food and shelter and could kick her out without a moment's notice.

So they stopped before they were beyond the point of no return.

"How is it possible for you to be in my mind?" River asked after she had gotten her breath back a bit.

"Actually that's another thing that should be added to the list of things that I'll explain later." When River shot Shadow a glare, she continued. "But I'll explain it to you now. I'm right to assume that you shut your mind from incoming psychic things?"

River frowned. "Yes. But how do you..."

"I can...feel it. I do the same. But there is one sort of telepathy that slips past these defenses. That's low-level telepathy." River just stared at her blankly. "Well, I call it that, the official name for it is reduced-frequency alpha waves."

"The TARDIS has a low-level telepathic field. Is that why she can enter the minds of people inside it?"

"Yes, I believe it is. But if you really want it, you would be able to throw the TARDIS out of your mind. But anyway, I don't think we're here to discuss scientific things. Come on." And with that Shadow grabbed River's hand and half-dragged her up the stairs and into her room.

"Nice room." River commented. "But compared to mine, it's a bit smaller."

"Yeah, but I've got four solid walls, you only three." Shadow smirked playfully.

"But mine is a bit cleaner." River said after briefly glancing around the room and noticing that it was quite cluttered.

"Oi! I like it that way. It's chaos with a system. And anyway, I don't think you have enough stuff that you can clutter your room with."

"Ey, that's not fair." Shadow's smirked and tilted her head.

"Don't mock my room and I won't mock yours."

River moved over to the only place that wasn't cluttered, the bookshelf on the far side, and Shadow closed the door with an audible thud. Then she walked over to River coming to stand on her left side, watching her every move.

"I see you like books." River said, still studying the titles.

"I don't like books, I love books. The others always poke fun at me because of it. Just because I once yelled at Clyde for throwing a book across a room." River was now looking directly at Shadow.

"You were absolutely right to yell at him. Books shouldn't be treated that way. They deserve respect and protection." Shadow also took her eyes from the books and looked at River. Their eyes locked and they lost themselves into each other.

Slowly Shadow took River's hand again and led her to the bed at the opposite side of the room, never breaking eye contact.

Shadow still couldn't quite believe it was possible that River was here because she wanted to be with her despite all the things speaking against it. River was theoretically cheating on the Doctor, Shadow's father. That fact alone made this whole thing majorly weird because River was her step-mother, of sorts. But that all didn't matter to them right now. Right now, all that mattered to them was each other.

Shadow tentatively reached out and slowly pulled River atop of her. The air around them was charged with tender emotions. It was a stark contrast to what had been their first 'encounter'.

Then...

_...the air was charged with unresolved tension. It was like a bubble of methane coming up to the water surface, which was ablaze with burning oil, ready to be consumed by sweet oblivion. By the time they had made it to the bed, they had already lost their clothes and their hands had been roaming over each other in a frenzy. Almost as soon as they had hit the mattress, Shadow had made it unmistakably clear that she was leading this dance._

_Now..._

...Shadow surrendered to River and made it clear that she accepted whatever would be between them. Asking with tentative touches for River to understand the urgency of the situation but to also take it slow, to keep it tender.

River understood and responded with a deep look into Shadow's eyes, with which she tried to convey all her feelings for Shadow. To make her understand that this thing between them was not just a spur of the moment thing but would last forever, if Shadow would let it.

Shadow's answer to this unspoken question was to pull River into an affectionate kiss to give her her word that she wouldn't run from it ever again.

After what seemed like an eternity and a half they had to come up for air and River initiated their bliss by slowly pulling Shadow's shirt off.

Shadow's hands weren't idle either. She pulled off River's silvery-gray vest and got started on her trousers when River took her hands and pinned them down left and right from Shadow's head. Therewith signaling to Shadow to relax and enjoy.

River then progressed to memorize every inch of Shadow she could reach. Slowly building the pleasure, intent on making Shadow reach highs she has never reached before. And if Shadow's squirming was any indication, then River was doing things just right.

* * *

Afterwards they both were completely spent but happy. Cuddled up to each other, Shadow had her head resting atop River's shoulder, one arm thrown across her stomach. The sun was starting to make its descent on the horizon.

A light chuckle stirred River from her doziness. She questioningly looked down at Shadow.

"I'm...I'm happy. That's all." Shadow smiled up at River. "But there's still one thing that I'd like to know." She continued, frowning.

"What's that?"

"Don't get me wrong but really... Why? Why did my dad marry you?" Shadow rested her chin on her folded arms. "Alright you're brilliant and absolutely wow. But he still has severe commitment issues. They are part of his general MO."

"I don't know. He just did."

Shadow seemed to struggle with what she wanted to say next.

"What is it?" River prodded.

"Would you mind...I mean could I...no, no, forget it."

"What? Come on, tell me." River sat up causing the blanket that had lain over them to slide down. Shadow shortly stared and then closed her eyes.

"Not helping." Shadow mumbled.

"Oh." And River pulled the blanket around her. "But what is it you want to ask me?"

"I'll probably be absolutely out of line with it. But I wanted to ask, if you'd perhaps be willing to...let me see the marriage with my dad."

"What? Why?" River was slightly confused because she could not see a reason for Shadow to want to know about it.

"Why am I out of line with my request or why am I asking?"

"Both?" River replied, a little unsure, if she really wanted to know the answer.

Shadow sighed and then sat up herself, pulling the other side of the blanket around her in the process. "It's private. You don't ask things like that. It really isn't any of my business." Looking down and drawing a breath. "And as for why." She looked up again. "I just don't understand it. It's something that I really want to know because it bugs me that I don't understand his motive. Yeah, I know, not everybody has an ulterior motive. But most people do and definitely him. And I'm ranting, sorry."

"No, it's alright. But how would you do it? I mean you can't just step in my head, or?"

"Well, basically that's exactly what I would do." Because of River's slightly shocked look Shadow elaborated. "Not physically, of course. I would make a connection, a bridge, between our minds and you would put the memory to the forefront of your mind and I would watch it. Like a movie, in a manner of speaking."

River seemed to think about that for a moment before finally coming to a decision. "Alright. Do it."

"What?" Shadow exclaimed, her voice rising one or two octaves.

"You heard me. I'll show you."

"But...why?" Shadow was confounded. She had expected anything but that.

"If I were in your position, I'd probably wanted to know why he broke with his MO, too. And maybe, afterwards, you'll tell me why I shouldn't be worried about my marriage with the Doctor. No, I didn't forget. And I still want to know why you were surprised back at Stormcage." River clarified, matter-of-factly.

"You sure?" She had to know. "It will be something extremely private."

"Yes, I am sure." River stressed every syllable.

"Well, when you're sure." River nodded. "Then I will do it. Just let me..." Shadow reached over the edge of the bed and grabbed her t-shirt from the floor and put it on.

"Spoilsport." River muttered under her breath.

"I just don't want you to get distracted." Shadow smirked. River really began to see different smirks for different situations. Shadow then sat in front of River, whilst River securely tucked the blanket around herself. When she was finished, she looked expectantly at Shadow.

"What now?" She asked.

"Now you just pull the memory of the marriage to the forefront of your mind, so that I don't see anything else. Just completely concentrate on the memory. Nod, when you're ready." Shadow instructed and then went to also focus her mind, as to not let River see what was in her mind. And then she waited for River's affirmation.

When she finally nodded, Shadow leaned in a bit. "Come here." She told the woman opposite her, whilst she raised her hands and laid them on River's face, positioning her fingers.

 _At first Shadow didn't see anything clearly._ Come on, focus. You can do it, my dear. _After that the pictures became clearer, although they were still a little blurry. Shadow assumed that River had just been a bit teared up at the time. The Doctor was with the back to her and a machine of some kind, probably a transmitter, was between them. To the right she knew were River's parents._

_The Doctor seemed to struggle with something. But then got a determined posture. "Amy, uncuff me now."_

_The redheaded woman, most likely Amy stepped forward and went to take the handcuffs off of him._

_Then, as if a switch was flipped in him, the Doctor turned around, his usual bubbly self._ He looks young this time around. And a bow tie? Really?

_"I need a strip of cloth, about a foot long, anything will do. Never mind." He grinned and pulled off his bow tie. Getting serious again after that. "River, take one end of this." Moving forward towards the Doctor. "Wrap it around your hand and hold it out to me."_

_The vision angle was alternating between the Doctor and her hands, wrapping the piece of cloth around her right hand. "What am I doing?" River asked._

_"As you're told." That seemed harsh. "Now, we're in the middle of a combat zone, so we'll have to do the quick version." The vision was still fixed on the piece of cloth that she wrapped around her hand. "Captain Williams, say 'I consent and gladly give.'"_

_She looked up at the Doctor. "To what?" Captain Williams asked._

_"Just say it!" The Doctor was distressed. "Please." He added a bit softer._

_Looking over at the two persons standing on the other side of the machine. "I consent and gladly give." Captain Williams said, unsure and visibly confused._

_"Need you to say it, too..." And then adding as if he couldn't actually believe he was saying it. "...mother of the bride."_

Shadow retreated from River's mind at this point. She had seen enough. Dropping her hands into her lap, she saw River looking expectantly at her.

Shadow desperately tried to keep a straight face but really couldn't. Pretty soon small giggles escaped her. River looked offended. "I'm sorry. Really, I am. Just...just..." Another fit of giggles burst forward. "Okay..." Shadow drew a deep breath. And cleared her throat. "Remember when I said that the Doctor always has an ulterior motive?"

River nodded.

"Well..." Shadow tried to come up with a way to explain what she knew in a way that didn't make River go after the Doctor for lying to her. "Are you familiar with the Pyr-galaxy?"

"Not that I'm aware of. But what has that to do with anything?"

Shadow heaved a sigh. "In the Pyr-galaxy is a star-system called Pyram. In this is an inhabitable planet called Pyrus and its sun Pyrix. On the planet Pyrus the marriage ceremonies are quite like the one the Doctor did."

"But...?" River knew there had to be a catch.

"But...it takes someone from this planet that is authorized to perform this kind of ceremony to make that a valid marriage."

"And the Doctor couldn't have acquired the authorization?"

"Nope. You have to be Pyrusian for that. And everyone knows the Doctor is not."

"So basically you're saying that my marriage with the Doctor was never a marriage at all."

"Don't punch me but yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. And anyway, the marriage was in an aborted timeline, in a world that never was...so it never happened."

"But I can remember it." River tried to argue.

"That doesn't make it valid." Shadow shook her head. Silence fell upon them, each immersed in their own musings.

"I was surprised because I didn't expect my decoy to be a stable as it seemed after we were discovered. I thought they had called the troops back. And I half expected hundreds of guards to be blocking the corridors. It was a pleasant surprise but I was still a bit wary of it." Shadow quietly spoke up after some minutes, keeping her gaze fixed on the blanket in front of her. River listened intently.

"Thank you for telling me." River smiled. And silence descended upon them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, and now for my other project. Right now I'm in the process of co-writing an article with "TheTV-Junkie" about "The Potter 'Bad Boy Phenomenon'". We are trying to illuminate the reasons why the smutty fics with BDSM elements are the most liked and most read ones. So, if you're interested, head over to The TV-Junkie and read it. Or just follow this link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/374753


	12. We Rule The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, I finally got around to finish the chapter. And it became bigger and bigger each day.  
> And since I started working last Wednesday I really don't know yet when the next and last chapter for this part will be out. Next week we're all quite busy and after that I might have some time to write. But I almost just need to write it down, I've almost got it all written out in my head. But now, I don't want to keep you any longer. Go read and, please, leave a comment.

**Chapter 12 – We Rule The Night**

_All is for one and one is for all  
If we take the fight then you take the fall  
You run from the shadows but they call my name  
You search for the truth but your search is in vain  
No one can save you, there's nothing to say  
Deception's the name of the game  
We rule the night  
\--- We Rule The Night – Bon Jovi ---_

* * *

After another while Shadow got up and started to get dressed.

"What are you doing?" River was confused and half feared that Shadow was running again.

Shadow faced River. "I'm not running again. Never again from you." They shared a small smile. "But I figured, for this to work, I should show you a bit more of my life. The bits even Sarah Jane doesn't know about."

She took a pair of dark blue pants from her wardrobe and held them out in front of her. "These should fit." And she threw them on the bed next to River. "There. Put these on."

"Why?" River was still a bit confused but started to get dressed, too.

"Well, it's getting cold as soon as night falls and I don't want you to catch a cold." With that a black t-shirt and a forest green pullover joined the pants on the bed.

Shadow herself opted for black cargo pants and a dark brown pullover. And whilst River got dressed, Shadow got her gear from a drawer. She shortly looked at the various things that she had assembled over the years and then decided to take her previous version of the scanner she carried now with her.

"Ready?" Shadow asked when she turned around. Her breath caught in her throat upon laying eyes on the other woman in the room. The clothes really fitted...tightly. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to get a bit of control back. "I seem to be a bit smaller than you."

River smirked at the effect she had on Shadow, but decided to not push it. Shadow obviously had a plan and she didn't want to delay them further. "Yes. I'm ready. Where are we going?"

"First, upstairs. And then I'd like to visit some friends and after that I'll tell you then." Shadow opened the door and indicated for River to step out, which she did. Closing the door behind her, Shadow then ascended the stairs up to the attic, River behind her.

Shadow strode purposefully into the attic and then turned around to observe the look on River's face. And she didn't get disappointed. River looked astonished. For a moment. Then she looked at Shadow. "That's impressive. Didn't expect anything like this."

"Well, when you're impressed by that." Shadow made a sweeping gesture. "You're going to like this." With that she turned around and faced the far wall. "Mister Smith! I need you!" And with his usual fanfare Mister Smith appeared.

"Good evening, Shadow. How can I help you?" Mister Smith greeted.

River, meanwhile, was a little baffled. She had expected many things when Shadow called for Mister Smith and knew that it was a supercomputer, but something like this, no. She took a few steps forward. "This is Mister Smith?"

"Yes, it is. He's a Xylok. Anyway..." Shadow turned and looked at Mister Smith again. "...I just want to tell you that tonight, if any alien happenings in the London area should come to your attention, especially those in the area of Canary Wharf, are most probably my fault and if Sarah Jane should get wind of these, you just tell her that Torchwood got it already. Or that someone else is already diffusing the situation. Got it?"

"Am I right in my assumption that you want me to lie?"

"No, I just want you to tell a half truth, if necessary. It probably won't though. But you're the only one that can divert Sarah Jane's attention." Shadow grimaced. "Please?"

"Alright. But just this once." Mister Smith acquiesced.

"Thank you." Shadow turned around only to see that K-9 had snuck up on them and had his sensor extended towards River.

"K-9! Stop it this instant!" She hollered across the room. River also whirled around.

"Greetings, Mistress." K-9 piped up, wagging his tail.

"Is that a...dog made of metal?" She had her forehead in creases.

"Yes. And a bad dog. Explain yourself."

"I detected an unknown alien presence in the room. And located it to be this female."

"And? I know that already. That's no big deal." Shadow tried to diffuse the situation.

"I have to agree with the dog on this one. The female with you is listed in the Torchwood database as a high profile criminal. Does Sarah Jane know you brought a criminal here?" Mister Smith butted in.

Shadow grew impatient. She had intended to have Mister Smith divert Sarah Jane's attention elsewhere when there should be complications with what she wanted to show River and not have a lengthy discussion about whether it was save to have River around. She gave River an apologetic look.

"Yes, I know that she's a criminal and Sarah Jane also knows. And we both know what kind of crime she has committed. So don't think you can pull that up as a point."

"I see. I apologize."

"Good. Now...you know what to do. We'll be off." Shadow turned around to K-9 and gave him a hard look. "And you better behave while you're alone. Got that?"

"Affirmative. Question, mistress." Shadow blew out a puff of air.

"What is it, K-9?"

"I detect mingled odors from both of you and elevated levels of..."

"Get to the point!" Shadow was really not in the mood for a scientific lecture.

"It seems you have participated in sexual intercourse recently, mistress. And given the evidential parameters I conclude it has been with each other." Shadow and River shared a glance.

"You know, I always thought you wouldn't state the obvious but I think I was wrong." A small smile formed on Shadow's lips. "Yes, you are right. We had...an encounter of sexual nature."

"Do you think..." Mister Smith interjected from behind them. But Shadow quickly turned around and pointed accusingly at him.

"If you are questioning my judgement, you don't need to. I already did that enough. And now both of you, shut up." With that said, Shadow grabbed River's hand and lead her from the attic, swiftly closing the door behind her.

At the front door, Shadow briefly considered taking her coat but decided against it, in favor of being able to move more freely.

When they finally were outside, Shadow let out a relieved sigh, visibly relaxing.

"That was...interesting and different." River said. Shadow looked at her with a slightly raised eyebrow. "I was never confronted about having sex with someone by a metal dog and an alien supercomputer. But I guess there's a first for everything."

"I guess. But not many people can say that they've been caught doing the nasty by a metal dog and a supercomputer." Shadow chuckled and shortly after she burst out laughing. River, after realizing the absurdity of it all, joined in.

"We lead very complicated lives. But you wanted to visit some friends?" River said after they had calmed down again.

"Yes, I did. Come on." And Shadow led the way to the nearest bus stop, where they took a bus to where Shadow wanted to go. Upon arrival River didn't notice anything unusual. She had expected something more after the short episode in Sarah Jane's attic. But she had to hurry a bit to catch up with Shadow who was directly heading to...a flower shop?

But she had faith in Shadow and therefore she followed her inside the shop.

Inside were a lot of different flowers, a small counter on one side of the room and in front of that counter stood a blonde woman with the back towards the entrance.

"I'm sorry but we're already closed." Said the blonde woman.

"I'm aware of that. But maybe I'm just here to say hello." Shadow answered with a slightly amused smirk. The woman whirled around upon hearing that and stared at Shadow.

"You're back."

"Course I'm back. I told you so, didn't I?" Shadow stepped closer to the counter and the woman. "But anyway, I wanted to introduce you to someone. Where's Luce?"

"In the back." She turned around and called. "Luce! Would you come out here for a second?"

Pretty soon another woman appeared. Looked over at the blonde and then at Shadow. A smile appeared on her face. "You're back." Shadow nodded. Then her glance landed on River. "And you brought a friend."

"Not exactly." Shadow looked at River with a look that could only be described as pure adoration and motioned for her to come to her. River obliged with a big smile on her face. "She's my...well, it's complicated...but I think it's safe to say she's mine." Shadow looked for a sign of disapproval on River's face but found none. River's only reaction was a nod. "And I'm hers. But we skipped the introductions entirely. Luce, Rachel...this is River. River this are Luce..." She indicated to the woman on the left with the auburn hair. "...and Rachel." She motioned for the blonde woman.

After the round of nice-to-meet-you's and likewise's, Shadow decided to get the "business" part of her visit out of the way. So she focused her eyes on Luce and asked. "Hey...um...what would it cost me to have you deliver a thank-you-bouquet?"

"To who?" Luce answered.

"Sarah Jane. I think I have to thank her for, well...leaving the room and giving us space." Shadow emphasized 'us' with a jerk of her head in River's direction. "And letting us sort ourselves out."

"Ah, well, I still owe you one, so I'll get the flowers delivered for you and we're even?"

"Sounds good to me. Although others wouldn't see it like that. After all I rid you of the flower eating plants. And trust me when I say I had no idea how hard it could be to get rid of a few plants." Shadow had to chuckle at the memory. "But I think I found them a nice place. After I found out they especially like Varga plants it was a small step to dump them on Skaro. That planet is infested with these killer plants after all. And now that the Daleks are gone it was easy to get there without worrying about being exterminated. Anyway, we have a deal?" Shadow extended her hand. Luce took it. "We have a deal."

"Thank you." Then Shadow's eyes landed on Rachel, who really seemed like she wanted to ask something. "Ahh, Rachel, what do you want to know?"

"Where did you two meet? I remember you said, you were going to a prison of sorts but where would you meet someone there?" Rachel wondered.

"Well, obviously in the prison. And I can tell you, she was no guard there. But we arranged, didn't we?" Shadow asked River.

"Yes, we did. By the way, will I ever get my Extrapolator back?"

"For that you have to ask the TARDIS. I don't know what she did with it after she had redecorated. Maybe it's still in the old control room." Shadow answered truthfully.

"Oh, good. But how am I going to ask her, when she isn't here? And I don't think the Doctor hangs around here much." River challenged.

"Not anymore. But be patient. Like I know him, he'll come to you. It's just a matter of time." Shadow soothed.

"But his timing sucks." That only earned her a shrug from Shadow.

"You two are bickering like an old married couple. How long do you know each other?" Luce giggled.

River and Shadow looked at each other. "24 hours?" Shadow suggested.

"Around that." River nodded.

"God, you really are made for each other." Rachel quipped.

"Remind me again, why I count you as friends?" Shadow smirked unaffronted at Luce and Rachel. "And anyway, you two are just the same."

"Maybe. But we don't bicker like an old married couple." Luce deadpanned.

"I have trouble deciding whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. I think I will take it as both." Shadow glanced out of the window. It was getting darker each minute. "But before this escalates, I think River and I should be on our way."

"Alright, it's been good seeing you." Luce smiled.

"Yeah, really. It's always fun to have you around." Rachel added.

"Well, maybe I grace you with my presence more from now on. I don't know what the future holds. Only Time itself knows that." Shadow was guiding River to the door.

"God, don't be so pushy." River muttered to Shadow.

"I'm not pushy. I just had an idea that requires us to hurry up a bit, that's all." Shadow muttered back.

"Fine." But River sidestepped Shadow and turned around. Shadow, meanwhile, stumbled and almost fell. But in the last moment she grabbed River and used her momentum to swing herself around, too. River looked at Shadow with an amused look that was answered with a deadly glare, but her eyes betrayed her for in them all that shone through was a loving gaze. River then turned her head to face the other two in the room. "It's been really great to meet you. I hope we'll meet again someday."

"That would be great. And you take care of that one. She tends to live a bit...on the wild side of life." Luce laid an arm around Rachel's waist.

"Trust me, I know. Goodbye." River smiled, turned around and walked out of the shop.

"Well then. See you around. Bye." Shadow also turned around to leave.

"Shadow?" Rachel called, making Shadow turn around again.

"Hm?" Shadow looked at her with raised eyebrows.

Rachel genuinely smiled. "The look of love suits you."

Shadow's only response was a half smile and a grateful look. Then she finally turned around and joined River on the sidewalk.

* * *

Shadow had led them to an Underground station where they took a train into the city. When they emerged from the tunnel again night had fallen completely.

River saw and felt that something in Shadow shifted. Her whole stance had changed and her breathing was different. It seemed that she was sniffing the air. Then she took a deep breath, closed her eyes and even raised her nose a bit towards the night sky. Then with a jerk of her head and a clipped "Come on." Shadow took off. River followed.

"You know, I might get tired of following you." River said when she had caught up and fallen into step besides Shadow.

"I hope not. But I couldn't change it. Anyway...and I apologize if I come across as rude here but I have to tell you this beforehand..." Shadow had led them to the entrance of a dark alley. There she stopped and fully faced River. River involuntarily gasped. Shadow's features had hardened. Before her stood a fully fledged warrior. Someone who had seen blood and battle. Someone who took charge of a situation...any situation. And Shadow's aura had changed, too. It was darker. Cruel. Incredibly powerful. And it almost made River take a step back but here her training kicked in. She faced the danger that might come at her. And some part of her did tell her that Shadow would never hurt her.

"This is my playground. Here I am the unquestioned authority. What I do here is something that not many people understand. It has to do with balance. And I might seem like I'm the bad guy. Like I have no respect for the law or anything. I do respect the law. But here, to survive, you have to play by different rules. The only thing that keeps you alive are street smarts. The art of fighting dirty but fair. And I have my sources for information. But today, I want to introduce you to someone who calls the shots in this city's underworld and only takes orders from me." Shadow's eyes softened. "Because when you should find yourself in this city without me, I want to know that you're safe. I want to know that no one hassles you. And if anyone should have the nerve, I want to know that that stupid idiot gets what he deserves. And if he should...miraculously...survive it, never ever can relax again because he will be hunted down until he is dead."

"Could it be that you're a tad bit possessive?" River interjected.

Shadow stepped very close to River and laid a hand on her right cheek. A smile found it's way onto her features. "Maybe." She drew River in for a chaste kiss. "What I'm trying to say is that you might not recognize me on occasions tonight. Seem like a complete stranger to you. But although that might be the case, do not, under any circumstance, interfere with what I'm going to do. Even if it might seem like I'm going to kill someone. And I noticed that you almost took a step away from me earlier. My senses are heightened. And, really, I wouldn't hold it against you, if you should actually take a step away from me because you are afraid. I know how I can get."

"I know you would never hurt me. And I will stand at your side. Come what may. My faith lies with you." River had lain her forehead on Shadow's. A look of utter devotion and confidence in her eyes.

"Well, if that's so." Shadow considerably calmed. She still had that powerfulness about her but River felt that something had changed. "Let's go. It's time."

Shadow took two steps away and then held out her hand, palm upwards. River recognized that gesture. Shadow was putting her faith in River, but her overall stance still said that in this situation she was calling the shots. And Shadow wordlessly asked for River's acceptance of the rules.

River accepted the offered hand, intertwining their fingers and therewith also accepting the terms Shadow had set down. And together they walked down the alley.

At the end of the alley stood a hoarding with attached plastic tarp. And in front of this stood two fierce looking mountains of men.

Shadow let go of River's hand, her mask securely in place again, and just casually strode up to them.

"Hey. I wanna see your boss." Shadow demanded.

"Who do you think you are? The boss talks to no one. Now get lost before I shoot you." Was the quite rude answer of the guy on the right.

"Oh really? That's not what he said the last time I was here." Shadow's taunting smirk was firmly in place. "Now you get lost or you will regret it."

The guys drew their guns and pointed them at Shadow. River grew a tad bit nervous. Shadow stood there totally unfazed. "Ladies, ladies...you're new, right? And I'm sorry but you shouldn't have provoked me."

And with a sudden burst of movement Shadow had both men down on their knees and their guns in her hands aimed straight between their eyes. "You really should be nicer. And not everyone that casually walks up to you and demands to see your boss wants to kill him."

She threw down the guns in front of the guys and took a step back. "Now, again. I wanna see your boss."

The men grabbed their guns and looked at each other. Then decided to let Shadow and River pass and opened the hoarding.

Shadow led them along a darkened corridor and then down another corridor. At the end of this was a door. Shadow shortly paused at the door, hand on handle, and turned to River to see how she was holding up. "These people are kind of rough. And don't like to take no for an answer and you're gorgeous, if you know what I mean... Just stay close to me and holler if anyone gets frisky."

River nodded. She had encountered her fair share of rough and tumble individuals. And even some that tried something they later regretted. But here it seemed like they were walking right into the lions den without back up or weapons. But she had promised to have faith in Shadow and that was exactly what she did now. She had faith in her abilities and Shadow's to keep her and them safe.

Shadow turned around again and swiftly swung the door open, revealing a big room with a high ceiling. At the other end of the room was an elevated platform and a big guy sat on it. The sides were flanked by many other men and women, all curious who the newcomer was.

Shadow just nodded and closed the door behind them. Then took River's hand and walked directly up to the big guy. Probably the boss, River reckoned.

"Hey, Gabriel Doyle. How's business?" Shadow greeted and the big guy immediately jumped to his feet and went to shake hands with Shadow and River.

"The usual. But how is yours?" He was enthusiastic. That was not what River had anticipated after the short episode with the guards. She took a closer look at the guy. He was big, probably early, mid-fifties, his dark hair was slightly streaked with gray, dark eyes. If one would meet him on the street one wouldn't even notice him.

"Same old, same old. But I need to talk to you about something. Could we go somewhere a bit more...private?" Shadow, indeed, had changed her manners and composure. Her voice was a tad bit lower.

"Of course. Come along." And they followed Doyle.

River noticed that some of the people in the room where staring, no, leering at her. Usually she wouldn't care but it seemed that Shadow did, for she drew her closer and laid a possessive arm around her waist and shot the others a death glare. River never imagined she could like someone with such a possessive streak but she had to admit to herself that she didn't mind it in Shadow one bit.

They arrived in what seemed to be an office. A big mahogany desk stood facing the towards the door. On the left side were just shelves on the wall, filled with books. Off on the right side of the room stood a coffee table with a luxurious armchair and a plush sofa. Also a couple of big windows were on that side of the room. And what especially caught River's eye was a glass cabinet with some things in it.

She walked over to it and studied the artifacts. "I see you have a good taste in artifacts, Mr Doyle." River addressed him.

"Why, yes I do pride myself to have assembled quite an unusual collection. Are you familiar with these?" Doyle walked over and stood next to River.

"In fact I am. You see I'm an archaeologist." Behind them Shadow couldn't suppress the slight snort that had burst forward. River whirled around.

"You got a problem with archaeologists?" She asked Shadow, challengingly.

"Well...actually..." Shadow thought hard how to put it without messing it up before it had even started. "You see...I'm a time traveler. Usually whenever I see an archaeologist, I point and laugh at them. Digging in dirt all day long, unearthing small fragments of tools and whatnot's. And then making assumptions about what these things could have been used for. And usually they are way off. I just find archaeologists somewhat entertaining." On seeing River's slightly offended look Shadow tried to save face and continued. "But...you know...you are also a time traveler. So you're not limited to making assumptions about things. Theoretically you could just go back in time and look what certain things were used for. And actually I don't think it's ridiculous to dig in dirt all day long. It can be fun. And when you find something you just feel accomplished, happy to have found something." Shadow trailed off. She didn't know what she could say anymore to save the situation.

River stepped very close to Shadow and looked her straight in the eye with a strong look. Time seemed to stand still until River broke the silence. "Good save. But be careful. Not every archaeologist is as forgiving towards you as I am." She whispered and then winked. "But you wanted to discuss something with Mr Doyle, right?"

River stepped back to the glass cabinet. "I'll be just be over here and admire his artifacts." With that she bowed forward again and looked as if she had slipped off into a world of her own.

Gabriel Doyle walked to his desk and sat down behind it. Shadow simply jumped on the edge of the desk to the right of Doyle, thus looking down to him.

"What do you want to discuss?" Doyle started the conversation.

"Her." Shadow simply stated looking over to River with a slightly bemused expression on her features.

"I don't know her. So I think this will be an awfully one-sided discussion." Doyle chuckled.

Shadow refrained from rolling her eyes. "No. I want to keep her safe and you sort of rule the city. I just want that whenever anyone gets inappropriate with her they will be hunted down until they're dead." Shadow stated with a dead serious expression.

"I don't even have a name for her." Doyle deadpanned.

"River Song."

"You want me to protect the most dangerous criminal in the known universe?"

"Oh. So you've heard of her? I must admit, I'm a bit offended." Shadow huffed. "I seem to be the last to know."

"Well, she is a criminal and I'm the head of, what others call, a criminal organization. You hear about the famous others. But what is she to you?" Doyle looked questioningly.

Shadow thought hard. What was River to her? They had met barely 24 hours ago and yet here she was making deals with the boss of the underworld of London. Shadow sighed and let her eyes rest on River, who still seemed to be engrossed by the artifacts, were it not for the slight twitch of her ear. But Shadow didn't want River to know that she knew that River was eavesdropping. A smile stole itself on Shadow's features as she answered. "Everything."

"Do you think you love her?" Doyle inquired further.

"What do you think?" Doyle just looked at her and nodded understandingly. "Do I have your word that no harm will come to her whilst she is within your borders?" Shadow asked with finality.

"You have my word. And you can personally hold me responsible, if any harm should come to her." Doyle acquiesced.

"And I most certainly will." With that Shadow got up and walked around the desk again. Doyle also got up and rounded his desk on the other side. River also came over from her fascinating things and joined the other two at the door.

"Oh, and before I forget it." Shadow began. "The two guards outside are arrogant pricks who are more muscle that control over muscle."

"You didn't beat them into a puddle?" Doyle worried.

"No. But I would have, if they weren't new. But I think today you just can't get the staff." Shadow joked.

"Apparently not." Doyle smiled and opened the door for River and Shadow.

"Well, it has certainly been a treat seeing you, Doyle." Shadow shook his hand.

"I have to agree. Your collection is quite exquisite. Keep up your keen eye." River smiled sweetly.

"I will try." Doyle inclined his head. "River. Shadow."

And both left Doyle's office. He closed the door after them and they stood in the darkened corridor.

"He was quite the interesting figure. Did you notice that there where non-human artifacts in his possession?" River looked at Shadow.

"I know. I even got some of them for him." Shadow answered and started to walk down the corridor.

"You did? But they must've been quite expensive." River caught up with her.

"Not for me." Shadow looked at River and winked.

When they had entered the area where there were people again, River stepped a bit closer to Shadow. But nevertheless one guy was trying to get handsy. He gave River a short butt slap, which was answered with a sharp intake of breath from River, who whirled around and faced the guy. Shadow tried to step in front of River and show that guy what she thought about his behavior but River put an arm out in front of Shadow and signaled her to stay put. Consequently Shadow leaned against the opposite wall and watched.

"Uhh...what do we have here for a nice specimen?" River purred sweetly, backing the guy into the wall.

"Why do you hang around with that one when you can have a strong fella like me?" The guy was actually pretty big and muscular.

"Well...do you think you got what it takes to satisfy me?" River leaned close and whispered to him. Shadow caught River's right arm sneaking around the guy to the knife he had sheathed there.

"I think I got more than that." Shadow briefly closed her eyes in disgust. Did that guy _have_ to grab his crotch?

"I wasn't talking about that. I meant, if you think you could be able to satisfy my more...special urges?" River slowly unsheathed his knife. Shadow narrowed her eyes. River was playing with that guy like a cat with a mouse. But what was her goal?

"Sure. What are you into? I will give it to you good." Could that guy be any more arrogant? But River was ready to strike.

"Well, into...knife play." And she brought the knife up to the guys throat. "But I won't be on the receiving end." She had a slightly manic look in her eyes. "You really should have kept your hand to yourself." River proceeded to lightly drag the tip of the knife across the guys throat. Then she lowered it. "I just haven't decided yet where I should put the blade." She put it directly above his heart. "I think I'll just put it here. Fast and just a small mess." Now that guy seemed to realize that he had messed with the wrong woman. He smartly put up his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry. Really lady, if I had known. You are clearly taken. Don't mind me. I sometimes don't even know what I do." Shadow smirked in the background. But River just seemed set on driving her point home fully.

"Oh, I should make sure that you will never ever repeat something like that again." She put the knife back to his throat. Pressing the blade slightly into the flesh, drawing a drop of blood.

"Please. Please, don't kill me. I swear I will never do something like this ever again. But please, don't kill me." The guy started to pitiably beg. River smirked and took a step back, withdrawing the knife from his throat.

"Good." She then lunged forward and rammed the blade into the wooden doorframe next to the guys head. Then she just turned around and started to walk down the corridor again.

"Oh...and you might want to change your pants." River threw over her shoulder like an afterthought. Shadow took one glance at the guys pants and immediately spotted what she had meant. There was a telltale dark area on the guys pants. He really had peed his pants. Shadow chuckled and pushed off the wall, following River and taking her hand. She had to grin the whole way out of the building and down the dark alley until they where back on the main road.

Then Shadow took the lead again and brought them to a snack bar. "You hungry?" She asked.

"I could eat something." River replied.

"Alright. How about some chips?" River nodded. "Good. Then you can go ahead and find us a table and I will order. I'll be with you in a moment." And they parted, River looking for a table and Shadow to order.

A short while later Shadow joined River at the table and pushed River's chips and a tea over to her.

"Here you go. And I took the liberty of getting us some tea." Shadow smiled shyly.

"Thanks."

"So...whoa. Why didn't you tell me that you can be so badass?" Shadow exclaimed.

"I thought you would realize that, as the most dangerous criminal in the known universe, I can hold my own." River answered, shrugging.

"Oh, you definitely can. And I quite enjoyed the show. But tell me this, before we enter the business of the night, how adept are you in close combat?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Actually not very. I was conditioned to be a psychopath to kill the Doctor. Any means possible. But they never trained me in close combat. Just in the ways of sneakily killing and with guns."

"I don't like guns." Shadow made a face. "So you're a silent assassin. Well, do you at least have the guts to gut someone when necessary?"

"I try not to. But I could." River narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just hypothetically. I was trained in close combat. And with guns. I am also capable of basic medical procedures. I once was a sniper and then a medic. Those weren't nice times." Shadow got a faraway look but quickly shook herself out of it. "What I'm trying to say is that, on my patrol rounds, I generally encounter things, people that are not the talking kind. They usually start to attack and try to beat the crap out of you. I just need to know how far you can take care of yourself in situations like that. Because I can protect you even when they are in the majority. But when you can defend yourself I can fully concentrate on beating them. If you get what I mean."

"Well, I think I can defend myself. Although I wasn't taught in close combat, I picked up a few self defense moves in my years."

"Good. Because we will go into the worst part of town." Shadow smirked.

"Which?"

"The financial district. Or also called Canary Wharf." Shadow intoned ominously.

"Alright?" River had her forehead in creases. "Do you expect to be attacked by loan sharks?" She joked.

"No." Shadow chuckled again. "But there is a slight breach between dimensions. Therefore the alien activity converges there. Have you never heard of the Battle of Canary Wharf?"

River looked confused. "No. What was that?"

"Well, basically a stand off between Cybermen and Daleks. With the Doctor in the middle. He lost my mom that day. And Torchwood was involved. The old Torchwood, not the Torchwood under Jack's command."

"Interesting. And sad." River touched Shadow's hand across the table.

"You have no idea." Shadow was grateful for River's silent support and covered River's hand with her other one.

"So, we're going there and what kind of trouble do you expect?" River tried to slightly change the subject.

"Can't say." River raised an eyebrow at that. "I really can't say. Some nights I was flooded with Weevils, other nights I found some Ood."

"I thought Ood were really nice."

"They are. That's why I brought them to places where they can live. Most of them just want to serve. So I mostly gave them into private hands or asked UNIT members I know are nice to take them in." Shadow looked at the clock on the wall behind the counter. It was time to go.

"You are really nice." River emphasized.

"Except when I'm not." Shadow packed the empty dishes together and got up. "But come on, we have to go."

* * *

About half an hour later they had arrived at Canary Wharf.

On the train River had thought about what to make of Shadow's warning earlier. Until now she hadn't seemed on the brink of killing someone. She had kicked the hell out of these guards but hadn't seemed willing to kill them. Scare them maybe. And then the business-like personality with Doyle. That was another facet of the personality. Both seemed to be a mask to protect herself. But when they were alone again the mask seemed to vanish.

And then there was the bit about her having been a medic and a sniper beforehand. What was that about? Had she been to a war. If, which one? Thinking about it left River in a conundrum. The more she thought about it, the more questions arose.

But River realized one thing, for as young as Shadow was, she was already a very complex person and had probably an equally complex timeline.

She probably would have to ask Shadow herself, if she wanted to know more. Or she waited for what would happen later. Maybe that would explain some things. Or Shadow would.

When they left the station at Canary Wharf, Shadow stopped and pointed to the right.

"See that big tower there?" She began.

"Hard to overlook." River internally shook her head over Shadow's antics.

"That is One Canada Square to the public."

"And?"

"To the informed, meaning us that know what went down at the Battle, it's the Torchwood Tower or Torchwood One."

"So, here was the site of the Battle. But where did all the Daleks and Cybermen go? I studied Earth history and I never encountered that the Earth was overrun by them." They had begun to walk into the other direction away from the tower.

"That's because the invasion only lasted for a few hours until they all were sucked into the Void. Well...the Cybermen were here a little longer but they were in disguise." Shadow explained conversationally.

"Cybermen in disguise? How can they disguise themselves? They are big, make a lot of noise when they move and have quite the distinctive voice." River answered doubtfully.

"They were ghosts. And I don't mean bedsheet-over-the-head-I'm-a-ghost...ghosts, I mean real ghosts, like walk-through-walls ghosts."

"Ghosts?" This was getting absolutely absurd in River's opinion.

"Yes. Well...they just looked like ghosts. Actually they were brought here through the Void by Torchwood. And it's all very complicated and I don't really care about how they did it. But they did built the tower. And do you know why?"

"They always forgot where they worked?" River said sarcastically, earning a short burst of laughter from Shadow.

"No. There was a sphere hovering in the air that had no mass and shouldn't even be there in the first place. So Torchwood came and simply built a tower up to the sphere to build a room around it to study it." Shadow lead them around all the small streets, always on the lookout for any sign of trouble.

"Really? They just did that? That seems a bit pretentious." River's brows knitted together. "Not to mention stupid."

"Oh, yes. That was the Torchwood of the oldern days. Pretentious and arrogant. Always taking what it wanted without asking. But they got their kick up the butt. Almost everyone at Torchwood One was converted by the Cybermen. A few survived. Like Ianto. But that's another story for another day."

"And the Doctor came and ended the invasion?"

"Actually he was there before the invasion happened. He was there when the invasion happened and then ended it and saved the day. Like always." Shadow gave a half shrug.

"Like always. Only the cost varies." River uttered quietly.

"And it's paid in blood. Most times the blood of innocents." Shadow had heard River. "And that is the guilt he has to live with everyday." They had stopped. Shadow looked at River. River looked back not sure how her comment was received because Shadow's reply sounded like a rebuke, although she had said it in a monotonous voice. But then Shadow made eye contact and River knew that Shadow didn't think ill of the way she saw the Doctor's methods.

Shadow saw the look of uncertainty on her features and tried to reassure her. "Know one thing, River Song." Shadow placed her hands on River's shoulders. "I don't judge people by what they _did_ or by what they _will_ do. I judge people by what they _do_ , in the present, the here and now. That's what's important." She paused for a moment, her eyes briefly flickering over River's left shoulder. "And right now it would be really nice of you to take a few steps to your left." River was momentarily confused but then understood and stepped aside.

Shadow charged at something that looked a bit like a fish. It was humanoid and had fins on his head. His skin was red with orange stripes.

The fight took place about six feet from River. And now she understood what Shadow had meant earlier.

The fish guy was able to throw a few blows but was always blocked. Shadow was indeed very adept at close combat. But the most unsettling thing about it was that Shadow's aura changed into something dark and despairing.

Then Shadow threw the guy onto the pavement and brought her foot down just a few inches from his head. The ground literally shook.

"I told you to stay away from this part of town." Shadow growled menacingly.

"I had an errand to run." The fish guy answered.

Shadow grabbed the guy at the front of his shirt and roughly pulled him up. "What kind of errand?"

"I had to deliver something for someone." He stuttered.

"For whom?" Shadow's voice was still very disturbingly threatening.

"Some guy."

"Which guy?" One could literally see how Shadow's patience was wearing thin.

"Some random guy. Humans are all the same to me. I don't care for your filthy race." And he promptly got a hard punch to his face and Shadow let go of the front of his shirt.

"Say that again and I might reconsider letting you live." She narrowed her eyes. "Now tell me...who was the guy?"

"Sevar. Some guy called Sevar. From the Graveyard Knights." The fish spilled.

"See, was this so hard?" Shadow janked the guy up again and smoothed his shirt a bit. "And now get out of here and never come back."

The fish guy stared at Shadow as if he wasn't sure he could trust what he was hearing. Shadow rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "For the ones among us with a lower intelligence. That means: Run!"

And run the guy did. Very fast. And Shadow stood there chuckling slightly, with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

River was a bit hesitant to step to Shadow's side again. But decided to jump the fence and laid a hand on her shoulder. Immediately the darkness around her dissipated. Shadow turned and looked at River with a slightly confused look but caught herself pretty fast.

"Well, that guy won't come back here so fast." Shadow tried to joke away the situation. But River was having none of it.

"What was that? You really had me scared for a moment."

"I told you I'm completely different sometimes tonight."

"But you were cruel and dark and..."

"And you thought I might snap and kill him?" Shadow cut her off.

"No. But I thought for a moment that you might beat him to pulp." River admitted.

"I sometimes do that to some of them. The ones that don't break that easily." Shadow's mask was sliding into place again.

"Alright. Come on, I don't think we're finished with our patrol." River tried to steer the conversation into another direction, to not let Shadow hide behind her mask.

"Yep. You're right. Let's go." And they walked again to patrol the area, each hanging after their own thoughts.

A few hours later they arrived back at the Canary Wharf station. But this time Shadow wasn't going in, she passed it by and was heading straight for One Canada Square. She had a plan. And now she also knew what it was the voice had tried to tell her. But she didn't think River was going to accept it that easily. She probably wouldn't even like the idea very much. But it was something that was again necessary for the greater good.

Shadow was grateful that it had been a relatively calm night. Now all she had to do was figure out how to get on the roof of the tower. But that shouldn't be a big problem, she figured, after all she had her multifunctional scanner with her. And she had a lot of talking and convincing to do. But she absolutely refused to bend the truth for what she had to do. She would tell River the truth and nothing but the truth. She deserved at least that much.


	13. Follow Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Not one scrap of Doctor Who.
> 
> A/N: Well, I really have finished another chapter. Actually I planned this to be the last for this part. But then I redecided and now I will add an epilogue to it. But not right now, it's still just halfway finished. But for now this chapter is finished. And I hope it will answer some questions. But for now go and read. And, by the by, for those who are interested, why it sometimes takes that longbetween updates, please take a look at the A/N at the end of this chapter.

  
**Chapter 13 – Follow Through**

_So, since you want to be with me_  
You'll have to follow through  
With every word you say  
And I, all I really want is you  
You to stick around  
I'll see you everyday  
But you have to follow through  
You have to follow through  
\- Follow Through – Gavin DeGraw -

* * *

They had entered the Torchwood Tower with ease and reached the roof shortly after.

Shadow walked a bit around the roof and then indicated for River to sit down on the edge of the roof, which she did. Shadow sat down behind her, encircled her with her arms and laid her chin on River's shoulder. River hummed contently, which brought a genuine smile on Shadow's features.

"Do you know which way we're facing?" Shadow broke the silence after a while.

"No. Which?" River turned her head a bit.

"East. And it's just before dawn." Shadow looked out over the area. The sky was absolutely clear and in a greyish color but lighting already. "I want to show you what I do after every night that I had to fight and use my darker side to get something."

"Really? What is it?" River asked, though at the same time knew she wouldn't get an answer. But she treasured that Shadow was showing her these little things that were quite private for her.

"Patience, my dear. Patience is a virtue, after all." They shared a smile.

"But who wants to be so full of virtue?" River replied jokingly.

"Alright alright. But look, here it comes." Shadow pointed at the horizon in front of them.

The first rays of sunlight were appearing and shortly after the sun started her journey across the sky, bathing it in several different shades of rose and pink. Shadow took a deep breath, closed her eyes and released it in a sigh.

"It's absolutely breathtaking. Thank you for showing me." River said slightly emotional.

"My pleasure." Shadow hugged her a bit more tightly. "You are important to me after all. Very important. And that's why I want you to have this." Shadow drew her old scanner from her pocket.

"But that's your scanner. You'll need this." River tried to object.

"Yes, it is. But it's my old one." To show it, she took out her other one. "See? They're slightly different. My old one doesn't have a touch screen and a few less functions. But essentially it's the same. I think it might be of use to you. More than to me anyway."

"Well, that's very kind of you. Thank you." River took the scanner from Shadow. "And what's it's main function?"

"Here, let me show you." Shadow pointed to a switch. "Here you turn it on." Once turned on the screen showed a few options, 'Information', 'Communication', 'Data Modification' and 'Settings'. "These are the main functions. 'Settings' is pretty self-explanatory. You can change the color of the writing and the brightness of the screen and stuff like that. 'Communication' means you can use it like a walkie-talkie or a phone. Also there is an instant messaging option with which you can connect to almost every instant messenger."

"Almost every?" River asked in between.

"Yeah, at the time I build that one, I hadn't every IM protocol. I think I still haven't but mine has an adapting software that tries to decipher protocols and stuff to enable communication." Shadow explained.

"And the other two options?"

"'Information' is where you can get information about anything and everything. It connects to available sources, on Earth usually the internet and from there even protected databases. That function is courtesy of Torchwood. Jack gave me the program and I tweaked it a little so that it can understand other source forms. And finally we have 'Data Modification'. That's where you'll find the options 'Hacking' and 'Lock picking'. 'Hacking' is when you need to access a computer system that is not connected to a centralized database. And 'Lock picking' means you can connect this scanner with the right cable to external locking systems like retina scanners, code locks or hand scanners. Everything that is an electronic lock."

"Wow, that's actually a lot this little thing is capable of. What's the base technology?" River wondered.

"A PDA. And a few other parts. All put together and then made compatible." Shadow tried not to go into detail about how she assembled the scanner. "And my new one is based on a smartphone. Hence the touchscreen."

"Alright. I'll use it wisely. And no one will ever know where I got it." After that a companionable silence fell on them again.

River sighed after a while. She felt something wasn't quite right with Shadow and supposed it was something big. So she asked to take the burden off Shadow to begin telling her. "Why did you bring me here?"

"To say goodbye." Shadow exhaled. "Well...actually I don't want to say goodbye. Don't get me wrong. But we will have to part ways."

"Why?!" River exclaimed.

"Again, have a little patience and let me explain." Shadow smiled sadly. "It's not our time to be together. Not yet. You will have to go back to him. To the Doctor. He needs someone that loves him and won't give up to save him when he pushes everyone away in an attempt to be heroic." River twitched in disagreement but Shadow rushed to continue. "I won't vanish completely. Don't worry. I'll be around. Just try to keep me away." She smirked. "But whenever you see a sunrise, wherever you are, remember this one. And remember that I give you my word that I'll be there whenever you need me. And I'll be dropping by whenever I can and it's save for us. Or not, depends on where we'll go." She chuckled slightly.

River leaned her head back on Shadow's shoulder and looked up, contemplating. "Why do you like the sunrise that much?"

Shadow had to smile at this. River seemed to postpone her outburst.

"Some time ago I was in hell. A war I had to take part in. It left its traces on me. But every sunrise marked a new day. Another night I had survived. And it became a habit of mine to watch the sunrise whenever I had to resort to my darker side. It calms me. It tells me that I have made it through another night."

"Which war?" River had indeed decided to tell Shadow how insane she was later. Now she wanted to gather a few more information about her.

"A war I shouldn't even have been a part of. _The_ war. The Last Great Time War."

"But that's supposed to be time locked."

"Yes, it is. And I know how he did it. But that didn't stop Time from sending me there...twice."

"That's why you've been a sniper and a medic. You couldn't risk crossing your own paths."

"Correct. And now that I'm through with this, I have tons of knowledge about Time Lord physiology. Stuff I will probably not need."

"But it might come in handy someday. You never know." They looked at each other and something occurred to Shadow.

"I have an idea. But maybe...nah." River looked at Shadow with a look that clearly said: Not again.

"Alright. I just wanted to ask you, if you maybe want to have a connection to my mind? Something that works with low-level telepathy and comes through to me even if I have my guard and walls firmly in place. Something you can silently call me with and we can communicate over. Even over time and space. But the further we are apart the longer it takes to receive it and the more exhausting it is. But it will definitely reach me and I will always answer your call." Shadow explained.

"I don't think I have inherited a Time Lord's telepathic abilities." River replied unsure.

"Doesn't matter. Anyone can do that. It's just a matter of will. And you have a very strong will." Shadow reassured.

"Well in that case, I think it would erase some complications with communication between us. But how are you gonna do it?"

"Like this." And Shadow laid her forehead against River's temple. First River gasped then moaned and shuddered a bit. And as soon as it started, it was finished.

"Sorry. Should have warned you that it might be a bit intense." Shadow said sheepishly.

"No...no. It's quite alright." River replied a bit spaced out. "Just didn't expect it to be this...intense."

"Like being branded. First it hurts and then it stops. But it will stay with you forever. Anyway..." Shadow took a look at the sky. "...I think we should leave now. Or Sarah Jane might wonder were we are. And I don't really want to lie to her."

"Me neither. She seems like a really nice person."

"She is. After you got past the icy exterior." Shadow got up and helped River up.

They sneaked out the building again and got on the underground back home.

* * *

Whilst they were turning into the entrance, Shadow nudged River and established eye contact.

_Don't look alarmed but I think Ms Welsh is watching us._ Shadow grinned. River looked confused but it dawned on her that Shadow had just used the telepathic connection. It was definitely something special. She concentrated and thought back.

_Let her. I don't have a problem with it, if you don't._ River shrugged and smiled encouragingly. And that prompted Shadow to step closer and take her hand, intertwining their fingers.

_Oh, River Song, the things you make me do._ Shadow laughed a little.

They reached the door and before Shadow could open it, it flew open and behind it stood a very stern looking Sarah Jane. Shadow, as well as River, looked caught like a deer in the headlights. And then very contrite.

"And where have you been?" She started in a voice cold as ice, without letting them in.

"We watched the sunrise at Canary Wharf." Shadow spoke in a very small voice, very submissive.

"The whole night?"

"No. But we went out and I showed her a bit around town."

Sarah Jane mustered both very closely and then stepped inside with the words. "Come in. Breakfast's just ready."

River and Shadow looked at each other, the tension leaving their bodies, and then stepped inside.

And indeed in the kitchen the table was set for three people and in the middle stood a big flower bouquet. They took their seats and started breakfast.

"I got an early delivery this morning." Sarah Jane started, pointing to the flowers.

"Yeah? They're really nice." Shadow supplied.

"Yes, they are. Thank you." Sarah Jane directed at Shadow.

"My pleasure."

"So...what are you doing when you're not in prison, River?" Sarah Jane then asked.

"Well...I had just gotten my doctorate in archaeology, before..." River trailed off.

"Oh, that's new information. So it's actually _Doctor_ River Song." Shadow interjected, knowing that it was hard for River to speak about what she had had to do.

"Yes, it is. Got a problem with it?" River defended.

"No. But I might call you Doctor from now on."

"Don't you dare!" River shot a threatening look at Shadow.

"What are you gonna do to stop me?" Shadow challenged.

"You'll find out."

Just then Sarah Jane couldn't hold in the laughter anymore. She found it hilarious. Both looked at her with confusion clearly written on their faces.

"You two are a match made in heaven and hell. Completely hilarious. It's like listening to an old married couple bickering." Sarah Jane finally said after she had calmed down enough.

"You are actually the second person to say that." Shadow put forward.

"Maybe they're right and we really behave like an old married couple." River worriedly looked at Shadow.

"You think?" Shadow had her forehead in creases. River shrugged in response.

"And how old are you?" Sarah Jane didn't want that the two broke her kitchenware whilst clearing the table. The tension already rose again.

"Well...I'm not so sure. With the different ways of measuring a year and all. But I think I'm about 30 to 35 years old, all in all."

"So you're quite young actually." Sarah Jane said.

"Compared to the Doctor, yes, I am." River smiled.

"But what really interests me is what your sentence is. You are in a high security prison, where only high profile criminals are send that have very long sentences, like 400 or 500 life sentences. How many did they give you?" Shadow inquired.

"12,000 consecutive." River deadpanned.

"That's...that's a lot." Shadow was a bit stunned. "And how about a possibility to apply for probation?"

"Not that I know. But maybe I'll try that in a few years. And in a few decades I might be able to even try to earn my pardon."

"But only with good conduct. And I don't really think breaking out is good conduct." Shadow said jokingly.

"Maybe not. But this is only my second escape." River then added under her breath. "In the first week."

"Beg your pardon?" Sarah Jane had heard it. "Your second escape. And you're only imprisoned for a week?"

"5 days to be exact." River's sassy side came through.

"Well, maybe next week will be better." Shadow interfered before Sarah Jane could get excited about it.

_I don't think so. The Doctor said he'd be back next week._ River thought at Shadow.

_But that might very well be next month with his timing._ Shadow thought back.

Sarah Jane narrowed her eyes. "What are you two doing?"

"Nothing." They answered in unison.

"Tell me..." She warned.

"We have a telepathic connection now. My idea. Saves time and energy. And we can communicate through time and space." Shadow explained.

"And you're using it for dirty conversations."

"No." Shadow tried to convince her with success. For the moment.

"At least something."

"We don't always need to be dirty. We can be very not dirty when we want to. Don't underestimate us." Shadow mocked.

"I never underestimate what I see with my own eyes and know what it is. Therefore...you cannot not be dirty in conversations. And when it's not with words, it's with looks. Don't you underestimate me. I know how it feels. And I think it's wonderful that you two found each other and it doesn't matter how complicated your situation might be, you will brave it when you just stick together." And with that, Sarah Jane packed her breakfast stuff together and brought it to the sink. Turning around she asked the other women. "And what do you plan on doing today?"

"I think sleeping is a good option. Don't you think?" Shadow replied.

"Yes. Sleeping would be good. I'm a bit tired." River agreed.

"Fine then. But don't make a ruckus. I'll be in the attic and work on an article. At least until the kids come." Sarah Jane made to go but turned around in the doorway again. "Oh, and could you be bothered to wash the dishes?"

"Of course. We'll do it. See you later." Shadow nodded and Sarah Jane could be heard ascending the stairs moments later.

A few minutes later, they finished breakfast, washed the dishes and went to Shadow's room.

Shadow gave River a shirt and they went to bed. Both sleeping for a change cuddled up into each others arms.

* * *

When they woke up again, it was early afternoon. They laid in bed together absolutely relaxed and calm. Contend with looking into each others eyes.

"Do you know that there is a light golden glow in your eyes?" River asked quietly.

"No, I didn't. But I guess that has to do with my heritage." Shadow smiled.

"And what is your heritage? Apart from the Doctor."

"The Bad Wolf." The glow got a bit more intense for a moment.

"I..." River frowned. "I've actually heard of that. But nothing substantial. Only a floating line that is consistent through the ages."

"A floating line?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"'When the Storm is facing death, the Wolf will come and save it.' Sometimes it's used as a warning, sometimes as a prayer and even at other times it's said to be a prophecy. I don't know what it means, actually. But from what I gathered it has something to do with the Doctor."

Shadow chuckled. "Of course it has. He's the Oncoming Storm, after all. But the line refers to the year 200,100 when the Daleks take Earth and almost destroy the whole population. The Doctor was on a space station in the orbit at that time and uncovered their plot. That battle had lots of casualties, by the way. Anyway, when there was no way out but a Delta Wave to destroy the whole Dalek fleet, he sent my mother home in the TARDIS, never to return for him. She didn't take it that easily. She ripped open the TARDIS console and looked into the heart of the TARDIS. She became the Bad Wolf and saved the Doctor. And incidentally wiped out the entire Dalek race with a wave of her hand and brought Jack back to life, for good. She would've died but he took the vortex energy from her and released it back into the TARDIS. But it killed him. And then he became the regeneration that conceived me."

River laid there, staring into space for a few moments before speaking again. "So, the Bad Wolf is the heart of the TARDIS?"

"No, the Bad Wolf is a goddess-like entity that has control over time, life and matter. Seeing everything there was, is and ever could be. It just used the TARDIS to hide away until its moment came." Shadow explained.

"But if the Bad Wolf is a goddess-like entity and your mother became the Bad Wolf that would mean you're a descendent of it. And that would make you really powerful."

"Hmm...but my mother doesn't have the powers anymore and the Wolf left her."

"But if it could see everything, don't you think it saw the separation of your parents and tried everything in it's power to keep them together or reunite them? Don't forget that time is a tricky construct and we have to be damn careful if we change something." River tried to reason.

"Maybe." Shadow thought hard. "Maybe it...no." She shook her head.

"What? Maybe it what?" River thought she knew what Shadow tried to figure out, but also knew that sometimes it's hard to see the tree for the woods.

"Maybe it remained in her. As a remnant." Shadow spoke her eyes not really focused on anything.

"And?" River pushed a little.

"And...maybe it...went into me." She hesitated a moment. "And the voice in my head is actually the Bad Wolf." Shadow looked up, looking out of the window. "But why?"

_To guide you. To protect you. To lead you to reunite with both your parents. Because only you can reunite them when the time comes._ Shadow felt a warmth that might be the equivalent of a smile.

**But I'm just a girl with a tragic background. I'm nothing special.** She tried to deny the truth.

_Ask River if you're nothing special. You might find she has a very different opinion on that. And don't you think that everything happens for a reason and you two are meant to be?_

**But you said, I'd have to send her away again. And now I know why I have to do it. So, how can we be meant for each other?**

_Think. It's not your time, yet. And I will give you this little hint to the future of you two. Your time will come when your lives will end but not your story._ And Shadow felt the presence disappear again.

When she broke out of her haze again, River looked at her questioningly.

"Just had a nice chat." Shadow replied to the unspoken question.

"You actually have conversations with it?" River asked disbelievingly.

"Yep. But they usually raise more questions than answers are given." Shadow snorted.

"About what did you talk?"

"Us. You and me." Shadow simply stated.

"Oh, what did it say?" River was intrigued.

"'Your time will come when your lives will end but not your story.' Don't ask me what it means."

"That's interesting. Nothing straight forward but something to work with." River shrugged.

"Something to make you think." Shadow added before they fell silent.

After a while, Shadow looked at River with a serious yet playful expression and smirked.

"You know what I think I'll do?" She stated nonchalantly.

"No." River asked narrowing her eyes in curiosity. "What?"

"I think I'm going to take a shower in the bathroom across the hall." Shadow whispered, a promising and somewhat lecherous smile playing on her lips. That said, Shadow got up gracefully and went for the door. Before opening it, she turned around, winked at River and then quickly left the room.

River's mouth fell open. She couldn't believe it. Did Shadow really just imply…? But who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth? Hence, River jumped at the chance, stood up and hurried over the hall and into the bathroom.

The water was already running, flooding the room with a hot and steamy atmosphere, when she silently closed the door behind her. Quickly shedding her clothes, River sneaked over to the shower curtain.

Drawing it a bit aside she then moved in behind Shadow, swiftly placing her hands at each side of the other, thereby effectively pinning Shadow against the wall. "You are evil." River whispered huskily into Shadow's ear, nibbling at her ear lobe for emphasis.

"Thank you. I know." Shadow smirked again.

"And you are going to pay." River promised ominously, ghosting her hands over Shadow's body, eliciting a quiet moan in response.

Letting her hands wander a lazy path all across Shadow's enticing body, River let her mouth drop from Shadow's ear to her neck, her tongue caressing another sensitive spot she had found earlier. Slightly biting into it, River took turns with soothing her efforts on Shadow, and then kept repeating the process.

Meanwhile River's hands, too, were driving Shadow into sweet oblivion; working her full breasts in a manner that could only be described as effective and experienced.

Shadow writhed and bucked in pleasure but whenever she came near her release, River would decrease her ministrations to cruelly pull her from the edge. That torturous game went on for quite some time until Shadow couldn't take it anymore, desperately craving for release.

"Please." She begged, panting heavily. "I can't... Just, please."

"All you had to do was ask." River whispered smugly. Promptly letting her hands drop to Shadow's nether regions and in no time allowed her to fall over the edge. Which she did quite vocally; a sound of gleeful bliss echoing from the damp walls of the bath room as River caught her when Shadow's legs refused to hold her.

Coming down from her high, Shadow turned around and looked at River. "Now who's the evil one?" She asked, a lopsided grin adorning her face.

"You only got what you deserved." River replied innocently, returning the grin.

"Well, in that case." A devilish look crept on Shadow's features. "I probably should thank you in some way." And she grabbed River and reversed their positions, which wasn't easy to do since it was quite slippery in the shower and it would not do good if they fell and injured themselves. And it would be quite embarrassing, too.

As soon as Shadow had River pinned against the wall, she started to snog her senseless, to begin with.

* * *

When they finally left the bathroom, it was almost time for the afternoon tea.

On Shadow's bed were River's clothes from the day before, freshly cleaned.

"Sarah Jane must've washed them." Shadow's gaze wandered to the hem of the shirt. "And seemingly stitched up the bottom."

"At least I won't run around like I was attacked by a rabid dog." River threw in.

Shadow looked to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." River laid a hand on Shadow's shoulder. "You did what you thought was right. Although I could complain about your methods, they were working."

They got dressed and then went down to the kitchen. And with a cup of tea each they ascended the stairs again, this time heading for the attic.

Inside sat Sarah Jane at her desk and the kids sat around on the steps, doing their homework.

"What did I say about making a ruckus?" Looking up, Sarah Jane admonished, then turned around.

River and Shadow looked at each other and the said in unison. "Sorry."

"Just make sure to not repeat it when there are people around that are not of age." A giggle could be heard from the direction of Clyde, prompting Shadow to send a death glare in his direction that effectively shut him up and frightened him a bit.

River stepped close to Shadow and whispered in her ear. "Don't kill the boy." And over their connection she added. _Let me do it._ That prompted a predatory grin from Shadow and consequently she stepped aside to let River pass.

River advanced on Clyde smoothly as if she were a cat stalking its prey, which in some sense he was. Shadow noticed Sarah Jane get queasy at her desk because she didn't know what the two had planned. Shadow stepped over and laid a hand on her shoulder conveying that everything was alright and there was no threat.

River meanwhile had reached Clyde and looked down. Rani, a few feet away, remained silent but subconsciously made herself a bit smaller. Clyde sensed that he was in deep trouble right now. He didn't really know this River before him but knew she had to be something if Shadow was so fond of her. And the thought alone frightened him. But now that River was directly in front of him and establishing contact on eye level with that grin of hers, he was ready to run away. He was really scared shitless.

Then she let her gaze drop to the floor and when she looked up a second later there was a deadly look in her eyes. For a few seconds everyone in the room held their breath. And then River pushed herself a bit forward with a "Boo!".

Clyde literally jumped backwards and landed in front of Mr Smith.

Shadow broke out in laughter, heavily leaning on Sarah Jane's desk for support, joined by River. Even Rani could be heard giggling a bit. Clyde just looked incredulous.

"I knew you're good but that was just...bloody brilliant." Shadow said after she had finally calmed down a bit again. River just shrugged whilst walking back to Shadow's side.

"I don't know what was so funny. She almost killed me." Clyde tried to get a bit of compassion.

"Nah. She wouldn't have killed you. But that should've taught you a lesson. Never mess with assassins. And definitely not with sociopathic psychopaths." Shadow advised.

River stood next to Shadow, one arm loosely draped over her lower back. They emitted an aura of unity. One front, taking on whatever the universe might throw in their direction.

Sarah Jane smiled. She knew these two probably didn't even realize what they had. She stood up and stretched a bit and then asked. "So, any plans for today, now that you're well rested?"

A look of sadness crossed Shadow's face for the fraction of a second. "Well, the weather's nice. Maybe we'll sit in the garden and talk a bit." And after a moment of thought she added. "And don't be disturbed, if it should become a bit louder."

"Alright." Sarah Jane nodded.

River and Shadow went outside then. The three persons left in the attic looked at each other.

"What was that last bit supposed to mean?" Asked Rani.

Sarah Jane sighed heavily. "They have to come to an understanding, I'm afraid. And I don't think it will come as easily as it should."

Clyde raised his brows questioningly. "And that shall explain it how?"

"We just have to wait and see, I believe."

* * *

Outside, the two young women had made themselves comfortable on the bench.

A silence enveloping them that they knew couldn't last. One of them had to breach the subject eventually.

River knew that Shadow was unwilling to do it because she feared rejection. And although River also knew that Shadow had no reason to think so, she could understand why she thought so.

So River decided to take it upon herself.

"So...about earlier..." She dragged out. Shadow closed her eyes and grimaced a little.

"What about it?" Shadow tried to be nonchalant.

"You know I don't agree to what you said. I think it's a very stupid idea actually."

"Well, I'm known for my stupid ideas." Shadow tried to joke, unsuccessfully. River just glared at her.

"Would you just be serious for a moment, please."

"Sorry. Alright." Shadow nodded. "You know it can't be changed. It's fixed."

"Nonsense. It's not fixed." River deflected.

"Yes, it is. The problem is, whilst it seems that it is not fixed, and looking at one single timeline it actually might not be fixed, there are too many timelines involved in this matter that we could just change it. Remember what happened when you refused to kill the Doctor?"

"Would it really be that bad?" River doubted.

"I don't know. But I won't risk it. And if that means I have to suffer a bit, I will take that."

"You would voluntarily suffer? Are you some kind of masochist? Don't you think you did enough for the universe to be granted some happiness? Just once?" River's voice steadily rose in volume.

"I am granted happiness." Shadow replied flatly.

"When!?"

"Right now." Shadow smiled.

"And you want to send me away. Why not keep what you have?"

"Because..." Shadow looked for the right words. "Because it doesn't matter what I want." Upon earning a disbelieving look, she clarified. "Not right now, anyway. Maybe in the future. Someday. I don't know. Time is really a pain in the ass sometimes."

"Just sometimes?" River interjected. "Right now it's always."

"Yeah. But that doesn't change what we have to do. We have to part ways nevertheless."

"But I don't want to!" River jumped up, yelling. Shadow knew this was it, the outburst that was coming a long way. Anyhow, she tried to keep calm.

"Do you think I want to? I don't. Like I said, you're the only one of your kind in the whole time-space quadrant and I find you. You're special to me. I really don't want to lose you. But you have to go back. And I will have to remain here. There is no alternative."

"There has to be. Because what if I don't leave? What if I refuse to go? Will you drag me back?" Shadow knew that River's raised voice could probably heard in the entire neighborhood, but she didn't care.

"If I have to."

"What!?" River looked as if she was ready to literally slap some sense into Shadow. "You can't be serious." She shook her head in desperation.

"Unfortunately I am." Shadow immediately recognized the breaking storm in River's eyes.

"Oh, really? Because I think you just want to get rid of me, is that it? Am I not good enough? Or to old? What's your problem? Because I don't really care about Time anymore. And I'm done with sacrificing my whole happiness for it." River stood a few feet away, arms crossed, looking heartbroken and determined at the same time. "Or do you just not care for me and my feelings?" She finally added in a whisper.

Shadow had listened to all of it with a bowed head. She knew she probably deserved to be yelled at. She knew that a week more or two that River stayed wouldn't hurt. But in the end they would hurt them even more.

She got up and slowly walked over to River and tentatively laid her hands on River's crossed arms, trying to catch her eyes.

"I don't have any problem with you. You're not too old for me. Hell, I'm barely younger than you. And I most definitely don't want to get rid of you. If I could, I would never let you out of my sight again." Shadow sighed. "You know...there was also another reason why I left."

"There was? Which?" River knew she couldn't stay mad at Shadow for long when she looked this distraught.

"This." Shadow simply stated. "I didn't want to cause more pain than I had to. It took all my strength to leave. When I stood at the door, ready to leave, I almost didn't because I already..." Shadow couldn't say it. "Well, anyway, I knew it would probably hurt you that I left but in the end I thought it better when we didn't get attached to each other for it would hurt like hell to part again. And that we had to part again, I knew even before we escaped Stormcage." A little bitter laugh escaped Shadow.

"But I didn't let you go. And I really couldn't have, even if I wanted." River admitted.

"Yeah. And now look where it has brought us. We're struggling against each other for what is right. But I think we both know the answer. It just is a matter of stubbornness that we don't want to accept it."

"So you think I'm stubborn?" River looked incredulous.

"Well, I'm stubborn too, but I don't rage against the inevitable. It's too much of an effort." Shadow smiled.

"The inevitable?" River sighed heavily. "But what about us? What happens to us after we part?"

"I already told you that I won't vanish completely. I couldn't, even if I tried. I will come visit every now and again."

"But it's still not fair. Why does the universe or Time or whatever being is in charge here plot against us? Why not grant us some peace and joy?"

"Although you probably won't like the answer, I'm going to give it to you anyhow. There are too many timelines involved in this situation. Yours, mine, the Doctor's, my mother's, your parents'. If we would stay together, all these timelines would have to be rewritten. And in these timelines are fixed points that can't be rewritten and these would be affected, consequently leading to the breaking of Time because suddenly the requirements for the fixed point to happen aren't there anymore. True, Time has the tendency to try and patch up things that change to preserve the unchangeable events, but here it's too direct, too abrupt for Time to gloss over these things." Shadow moved back to the bench, sitting down.

"I still don't like it." River grudgingly admitted and sat down next to Shadow.

"I don't either. But what can we do? Getting upset won't help the situation." Shadow shrugged.

"Probably not. But still you haven't answered my question completely. What about us? What will we do after we part ways?" River knew it was risky to push Shadow now but she wanted a straight answer.

"You go back to Stormcage and I stay here. We will live as if we didn't know each other. As if we had never met. You go back to him and be the one that won't let him die. He doesn't need to know every reason why he shouldn't die. You love him?"

"Yes, I do. But what does that matter?" River gave a straight, honest answer, although she had a few nagging doubts that Shadow might get jealous.

"It matters." Upon seeing the slightly worried look in River's eyes she assured her. "Don't worry. I won't get jealous and it doesn't bother me. Everybody loves the Doctor. The only differrence is that most get afraid when he gets angry and desperate and slips into the darker side of his personality."

River looked relieved. "I don't."

"And that's another reason why I need you to stay with him. He tends to get lost in the darkness when he is alone for too long. I need you to stay with him in the times he has no one and to encourage him to take someone up again that stays with him."

"You know that that sounds as if you want to shove me aside?" River stated the obvious, at least it seemed so to her.

"I definitely don't want to shove you aside. But, you see, when we are apart and each of us has something to do. A long term goal. Then we won't lose ourselves completely in memories."

"And what will you do?" River raised an eyebrow.

"I'll remain here. Fight and protect these people here. And stay out of sight when the Doctor should decide to drop by." River furrowed her brows.

"Why do you call him 'the Doctor' and not dad or something?"

"I don't know. I guess I just haven't such a connection to him, yet. I know who he is and what he is to me; but I don't see him as that. Maybe when the time is there and he knows who I am, I can establish the emotional connection and call him that."

"But you call your mother 'mother'." River contemplated.

"Well...three years, although I can't remember them, are quite some time to get a connection to a person, especially if it is your mother."

"Three years?" River hadn't expected that. She knew that Shadow had been abducted but that she had been already that old, she didn't expect.

"Sorry. Probably should've told you." Shadow looked sheepishly.

"No, it's alright." River reassured, laying a hand on Shadow's shoulder.

"Anyway...where were we?" Shadow pushed the memories back and focused on the present. "Right. What we're going to do." She drew a breath. "I will be here. But you know, my mission to preserve the timelines lets me roam across space and time. And I will be there whenever you need me."

"And why can't we spend some time away from all this and then return to our places?" River tried to grasp at straws. She still didn't quite accept it.

Shadow lept up. "We're going round in circles, dammit!" She sighed frustratedly. River just looked at her and gave her time.

"It would hurt even more, if we grew even more attached to each other." _As if we could._ Shadow turned around, drawing a hand through her hair. "Although it might seem like I don't care about your feelings, I care about them more than you think. And that's exactly why I do this here. And anyway, the earlier we part, the earlier we see each other again. And the time we will be apart will be hell for me, too."

"Then why are you not saying 'to hell with all this' and let somebody else care for the timelines?" River tried to push Shadow in a certain direction. She knew that Shadow danced around something and she wanted to know what it was.

"Again with the circles." Shadow exasperately shook her head. "Because I'm the only one with the knowledge to keep them intact. I know what had happened and I'm the only one who can set up some requirements that are needed. Sometimes he barely escaped certain death and usually I was the one responsibe for his survival. Like on Krop Tor."

"Krop Tor?" River asked, she had never heard of that planet.

"Doesn't matter. It's a story for another time." She smiled affectionately at River.

"I just hope there will be another time." River sighed defeatedly. That let Shadow bristle her feathers a bit. She didn't know why though.

"There definitely will be another time. Don't give up now just because you lost the fight. The war isn't over yet." Shadow said sternly.

"I'm not giving up. I'm just facing the facts that there might not be another time when we'll be together like this. You seem to care about me but I don't know if that will be enough."

"It is enough. It's even more than enough." Shadow stood up and started pacing in front of River. "I don't just simply care for you. I..." She trailed of again.

"You what?" River pushed.

"You know." Shadow gesticulated helplessly.

"No. I don't. You've got to tell me." And a bit further along.

"I... I..." She groaned in frustration. "Why is this so hard?"

"Why is what so hard?" By now River had pretty much a clear idea as to what Shadow tried to say. But she didn't leave it, she knew that Shadow would feel better when she had gotten it out.

"Damn. I was never good with this." Now it was Shadow's turn to sigh defeatedly. She decided to just jump the fence. "I love you. No, I don't just love you. I'm absolutely and irrevocably in love with you. You hold power over me that you can't even fathom." Shadow's 'I-don't-care'-mask was firmly in place but behind her eyes laid the fear of rejection clearly written for River.

She got up and walked over, enveloping Shadow in a firm embrace.

"I'm not going anywhere. I will stay with you." River felt Shadow stiffen, ready to argue again that they had to part. "Although we might be parted by time and space. I will be in your mind and with your soul like a ghost following you."

Shadow let herself fall into the reassuring embrace again. "What did I do to deserve you?" She whispered.

"You're you. And that's all that I ask of you. Stay true to who and what you are. Never change that." River smiled, drew back and looked deeply into Shadow's eyes. "For I am indeed absolutely in love with you, too. I would not survive it if you'd stop fighting for what you believe in."

They looked at each other for a moment and then nodded.

"Now, how do you plan on me getting back to Stormcage?" River spoke up.

"Oh, I've got a few ideas." Shadow smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Now, why does it take so long with the updates? Because currently I'm doing a volunteer service with a christian community. And my working hours are from morning till evening. I don't really have much time apart from weekends and evenings. But when you want to know what I get up to when I'm working, please take a look at my tumblr: wolfthatroamsshadows.tumblr.com


	14. I Was Lost Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Everything belongs to its rightful owners.
> 
> A/N1: Well, here we are. The end of part one.  
> A special thanks goes to my dear friend "TheTV-Junkie" for being my first audience and helping with the "shower scene".  
> And another "Thank you!" goes to you my dear reader for reading this story. Without you writing would be for nothing. I hope you had some entertainment.
> 
> A/N2: Now I want to use my chance to ask you, if you have ideas for adventures that River and Shadow could go on. With or without songs. I already have one almost completely written. It's where Amy and Rory find out about Shadow and River. The next part that follows after these intermediate chapters will be when River has to leave for the Library. And yes, I have a plan for River to survive that without disturbing the established events much.
> 
> But now, enough chatter. Go and read. And afterwards please tell me what you think.

**Our Love - Epilogue - I Was Lost Without You  
**

_I Was Lost Without You – Sam Hulick – Mass Effect 3 Soundtrack_

* * *

They had reached Stormcage with relatively small problems.

Shadow had phoned Jack and asked if he could maybe help with some arrangements, namely a shuttle and his Vortex Manipulator. As it had turned out the Captain was still in London. 'Awaiting the fallout.' as he called it. Obviously there had been no fallout. All things were sorted and agreed on, albeit not liked very much.

River and Shadow tried to spend the time that was left without sadness. More or less they succeeded but there was still a melancholy in the air that they couldn't shake. They both hung after their own thoughts, thinking about how they got to the point where they were now in just a couple of hours.

_After they had sat back down and relaxed in the company of each other for some while, Sarah Jane came out and asked if they had finally reached a consensus and would like to come in for supper._

_They all gathered around the kitchen table. Clyde asked, if they had made up, which earned him a swift, obviously painful, kick to the shin from Rani._

_River and Shadow nevertheless answered and explained the situation. This led to Shadow calling Jack after supper. The kids rang up their parents, or in Rani's case went over, and told them that they stayed a bit longer._

* * *

_It was nearing evening when t_ _hey had met up with Jack at Sarah Jane's. The Capt_ _ai_ _n was seemingly impressed that none of the women had any injuries to speak of. He had half expected that Shadow would try to forcefully throw River out the door after meeting her again. Obviously he was wrong and something had prevented that. Or the bond between them was even stronger than he thought. Probably the latter, he had to admit after seeing how they interacted._

_They all gathered in the attic. Even the kids were allowed in. After all children had the tendency to think so far outside the box that they couldn't even see the box anymore. And that was exactly what they needed right now. Because after the stunt Shadow had pulled at Stormcage, they had probably upped the security._

_Shadow said that a shuttle and Jack's Vortex Manipulator was still needed, after all they had to bridge a distance of about 3,000 years and God knows how many light years._

_Jack gave the probably tightened security measures thought, but Clyde came up with an idea: Jack could impersonate a Time Agent or so and bring in River after capturing her and Shadow was his partner._

_Mr Smith then pointed out that they would need credentials for that. Sarah Jane asked back, if he could fake them, which he answered in the affirmative._

_After that was settled, the only thing Mr Smith needed was something to transfer the credential onto. That was something Torchwood had in Cardiff, so the data was transferred there and River, Shadow and Jack got ready to go to Cardiff._

_So after an hour and a half they all stood assembled in the driveway of 13 Bannerman Road to say their goodbyes._

_After a round, River and Sarah Jane stood opposite each other. River extended her hand in a friendly manner and Sarah Jane shook it. And then she did something no one had anticipated. She drew River in for a hug and whispered in her ear: "Make sure Shadow doesn't do anything reckless. Keep her safe, keep yourself safe. And I swear I will come after you, if you should ever hurt her."_

* * *

_They had stopped by at Torchwood, Jack had called in Tosh's help with the credentials, and as soon as they all had their cover identities, they jumped into the 52nd century._

_Jack still knew some people in the area and it didn't even take two hours and they had a shuttle. Jack piloted._

_When nearing the orbit, they suddenly found themselves flanked by another ship. That was the moment they all dreaded. If their cover wouldn't check out, they would be faster on the ground and dead then they could react. Jack did the talking and soon they got clearance to land._

_And due to Jack's experience with the Time Agency, he could pull off the law enforcer quite nicely. He insisted that his partner, Shadow, of course she had an alias, and he himself brought River back to her cell and personally turned the key, figuratively speaking._

_Naturally, the one in charge protested, but Jack knew how to handle the likes of him. He stared him down and then turned up the charm. After all it was the 52nd century and his charm had to be sneaked past the barriers of a trained officer. Nowadays, everyone tried to charm their way in or out._

_It worked. Shadow hadn't doubted the Captain for a second, and the officer told them the way and off they were._

_Upon nearing the cell, the door was conveniently open, Jack took one look at the two others and covertly turned the video surveillance on a loop, so that it looked as if they hadn't yet arrived there. It gave them some time, although not much. Someone would come looking, if they wouldn't appear on the screens soon._

* * *

And that is how they had ended up in the situation they were in now.

River leaned in the door frame and Shadow stood in front of her, unsure of what to do.

"This is...new. But somehow it's not." Shadow said and cracked a small smile.

"Yeah. But let's not end it like last time. I'd rather not have company." River smiled back sadly. "So. I guess that's it then."

Shadow nodded slowly. They looked at each other for a moment and suddenly Shadow launched herself at River and hugged her tightly. River immediately hugged her back. They clung to each other like a life line.

"I really don't wanna leave." Shadow mumbled.

"You have to. You can do more good when you're out there." River reasoned.

* * *

Jack was on the other side, leaning against the wall, and watched the couple.

They stood there, not even a sheet of paper would be able to be slid between them. But they had an eerily calm aura. Like the eye of the storm.

He never thought he would see such a bond between two people again after the Doctor and Rose, but again he was wrong. He should really look into what he thought and probably re-evaluate it, he thought grimly to himself.

He would probably have to deal with an emotionally unstable Shadow on the way back home. That was something he didn't look forward to.

He never took Shadow to have emotions, well, not many anyway, or to be led by them. But today seemed like a day of surprises for one Captain Jack Harkness.

Suddenly something unexpected happened. Shadow was enveloped in a bright golden glow; tendrils of the light reached out to River who took a step backwards, an astonished and genuinely surprised look on her face.

Shadow audibly gasped. And as soon as the glow came it vanished again.

"What the **hell** was that!?" Jack exclaimed.

* * *

The glow and accompanying tingle that ran down Shadow's spine surprised Shadow a great deal.

The tingle then concentrated on her lower back, intensifying for a few moments and then stopped, along with the glow.

Shadow looked questioningly and absolutely lost. River, who had felt the glow reaching out to her and seemingly testing her, whispered to Shadow. "Bad Wolf." That was the only thing that had been in her mind when the glow had reached her. But it had been in another voice than her own. She could only speculate what it was, or who. But she guessed that the entity that had taken refuge within Shadow had made a visit to her and had introduced itself.

The Captain's exclamation shook the two women from their reverie.

They both looked at him and then answered in unison "Bad Wolf.".

He looked at them blankly. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Don't know yet." Shadow answered shortly. Then turned around and grabbed River's arm. "I want to show you something."

Shadow dragged her a bit into the cell, then turned her back to River and raised the back of her shirt. "Is there something?"

River gasped. There, indeed, was something.

A wolf, proud and strong, in full run. Stylized a bit but still quite realistic.

It shimmered a bit golden. And under it, between the ground and his legs, were under its chest a small Greek letter alpha and a capital beta.

River tentatively touched the wolf and stroked it from head to tail. She felt a tingle run from her fingertips down her spine and warmth extending throughout her whole body. And as she took her hand away from Shadow's back, there was a small and a capital beta added on the right side of the letters, under the wolf's belly. And then she saw a bright golden glowing line drawing around the two pairs of letters, forming an infinite symbol.

Shadow's quiet groan shook River from her musings and let her lay her hands on Shadow's shoulders, pulling her backwards and hugged her tightly. The Captain's presence was totally wiped from their minds.

Shadow turned around in River's arms and looked at her. "What...?" _What is there? What happened? What do you think?_ Shadow didn't know which question to ask first.

River took a step over to small shelf by her bed and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. "Here..." Shadow stepped over and looked over her shoulder, whilst pulling her shirt back into place.

River was sketching the wolf and the markings under it.

"That's impossible." Shadow breathed, when River was finished.

"Nothing is impossible."

"I know. I just meant that it has to be kidding." Shadow said disbelievingly.

"Apparently it wants to tell us something." River joked ironically.

"Yeah. It tied us together...until the end of time. You and me, with the protection and blessing of the wolf."

"That a bad thing?" River asked getting a bit insecure.

"No. And I mean the giant, neon sign 'no' with a trillion exclamation marks." Shadow gesticulated.

"Good." River folded the piece of paper with the drawing and put it under her pillow on the bed. "I want a reminder of who you are. At least until we meet again." She then said and walked back to the cell entrance.

Shadow looked sad again. She knew time was running out. She sighed and walked out of the cell. Turning to River she said "The Captain and I should probably get out of here."

"I agree."

"I trust you can lock yourself back in..." _...because I couldn't._ Shadow finished the sentence in her head.

"Yes." River seemed to grow impatient.

"Alright then." Shadow nodded and turned to the Captain. "We need to do something before we can leave?"

"I have looped the camera feed. I will cut the signal to give them static on the surveillance screens. From that point on we have about 2 minutes to get back to the front desk." Jack explained.

"Alright. Then do it now." Shadow ordered.

The Captain typed something in on his Vortex Manipulator and then nodded. "Two minutes and counting." That earned him a "Really?"-look from Shadow.

"So, this is it." Shadow turned back to River. "See you around then." Shadow grinned and turned around, walking down the corridor, catching up with the Captain, who had already started to leave.

And once again River was left to speechlessly gape after Shadow. That one was having no decency at all.

About ten meters down the corridor Shadow halted her steps. Jack questioningly looked at her.

"Oh, for the sake of everything good and holy..." Shadow muttered and turned around jogging back to River and gave her a last thorough snogging, which was gladly reciprocated.

"Sorry. I almost forgot." Shadow smiled brightly.

"But you remembered." River smiled back warmly. "And now go before we all get into trouble." River shoved Shadow slightly.

"Until we meet again...my River." Shadow whispered. River's heart swelled and she just nodded. Shadow then hurried down the corridor.

"Come back soon. I need my Shadow." River whispered after Shadow was out of sight. Then she closed her door and sat down on her bed, retrieved the drawing from under her pillow and looked at it; a defeated sigh escaping her lips.

* * *

When they were back in London it was morning of the day after they had left.

Shadow remembered that she still had to write herself the letter. She quickly copied it and put it into an envelope and addressed it to herself. Then she gave it to the Captain with instructions on when exactly he had to deliver it.

After the Captain had left, Shadow walked up to her room and laid back on her bed. Closing her eyes she relived the past 72 hours.

Everything had to happen like it had. And in the end only the future would reveal, if it was worth the pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a good start into the new year and it will be a good year for all of us.


End file.
